SPEAKER_04: Oh, hello?

LPC: Hello there, oh, boy.

MC: Hello?

SPEAKER_04: Hi, Austin.

SPEAKER_04: How's we going?

MC: Pretty good.

MC: How about you?

MC: I got the whole crowd out here.

MC: How are you?

SPEAKER_04: Dynamite.

LPC: Thank you all for being here.

LPC: I couldn't be happy.

LPC: I wanted to be in Austin tonight.

LPC: Oh, so great.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: You know, I was actually born right outside of Austin in a little town called Colleen.

MC: Any clean heads?

MC: Come on, someone's got to be from there.

LPC: Something like that, so yeah, that was pretty neat, pretty neat stuff.

MC: When did you move out of there?

LPC: When I was one.

MC: Oh, cool, cool.

LPC: Yes, yes.

LPC: So that was that, and I just lived in Colorado after that and all over.

LPC: But I love coming back to Texas and,

LPC: I don't know.

LPC: It's always on my mind.

LPC: I can't really explain it.

MC: There's something about it, man.

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: Yes.

LPC: But, uh, thank you for checkin’ out the movie. Um…

MC: No, thank you for, I guess, appearing in the movie.

MC: I don't think anyone ever thought they would get to actually see you that close and personal,

MC: even though your face is blurred for most of it.

LPC: Well, yeah, I didn't think so either.

LPC: So we've got that to come in.

LPC: I mean, definitely.

SPEAKER_15: I stood up and suddenly.

LPC: So, I mean, yeah, that was a quiet experience for me.

LPC: It's the biggest, the smallest big team that was ever assembled for a movie or something like that, I think.

MC: Sounds not right.

MC: Yeah.

LPC: Yeah! So we’re gonna have a little fun tonight and see what you guys wanna do. Um—

MC: Okay.

LPC: I'm happy to talk to you.

LPC: I'm happy to talk to some other people on the phone.

LPC: phone. I've got the line ringing right now. We're going to see what happens.

LPC: Wow.

LPC: We’ll figure it out as we go along, but—

MC: Okay. Yeah, that sounds good to me. You got some numbers. You want me to get some numbers?

MC: Hello? I’m right here.

Man(1): Yeah, gimme one second.

LPC: Yeah, okay. Yeah, NAPA? Auto Parts, or…?—

LPC: Hey, guy, listen to me. Uh, can you hear me okay?

Man(1): Yeah.

LPC: Hey, buddy, I need to get like a new— It’s Auto Parts, right?

Man(1): This is AutoZone.

LPC: Oh, good.

LPC: Okay, I need a new VIN number, like ASAP.

LPC: So, can—can I get with you, like, maybe after you close or somethin’? Tonight?—

LPC: Is that a VIN number?

LPC: Yeah. I got— I need a new VIN number on my—on my vehicle real bad.

Man(1): Yeah, we don't do that.

LPC: Oh, come on, I can give you two, three dollars, you know?

Man(1): No, we don't, sorry.

LPC: No, I'll be there after you close.

LPC: Meet me in the back, okay, and we'll work something out, all right?

Man(1): Uh, no.

LPC: Whadda ya mean, “No”? Auto Parts, right?

Man(1): Yeah, this is AutoZone.

LPC: Guy, I got a dent in my car. I got no windshields. I got no glass.

LPC: I need a new VIN number on there.

LPC: And I need your help. I mean, there's nobody else around. You know what I mean? I don't know what to tell you.

LPC: I can give you $6,7, you know?

LPC: What do you need for me?

LPC: Huh?

Man(1): Nothing.

Man(1): Lucky you can talk to the manager, if you like.

LPC: No, guy.

LPC: Just get with me tonight. I'll give you $7.8 and that'll be fun.

LPC: I'll tell you what. Where do you live? And I'll just meet you up there.

LPC: No, thank you.

LPC: No, thank you. What do you mean by that?

LPC: Okay, he left the conversation. But ya see what I’m sayin’, you see what I’m gettin’ at up ‘ere—

MC: That was great.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: That was just something that I thought I'd try to inquire about.

LPC: You know, it's maybe that or maybe some of the oak paneling that they used to put on the side of the station wagons.

LPC: We were talking about the 70s, you know, so I kind of got that on the back of my head here.

MC: Yeah, it's a different time.

MC: —have wood paneling like that anymore, I guess.

LPC: I guess not. I mean, I've got another number ringing right now.

LPC: But if anybody has a number you'd care to share, by all means, feel free. Or if you have anything to

LPC: talk to me about. I'd love to talk to you.

MC: Some guy looks really eager with the number.

LPC: Okay. Hold that thought. We're going to answer this call, and then I'm going to talk to you in just a sec.

MC: Okay.

LPC: Or maybe sooner than that, ‘cause they don’t seem to be answering, um…

LPC: Thank you for calling.

LPC: Hey, auto parts.

Man(2): What’s that?

LPC: Hey, I said auto parts?

Man(2): This is Autos when you're calling.

LPC: Oh, really? Okay. I don't know why you didn't really pick up on it then because

LPC: I need some help there, big guy.

Man(2): Okay.

Man(2): I do have a pretty large line here.

Man(2): Would you mind maybe holding on hold just for a...

LPC: Well, I’m in line right now.

LPC: I'm actually in line.

LPC: I wonder what the heck's going on up there.

LPC: Double time, partner.

LPC: Double time.

LPC: Get in gear.

LPC: How do I get through to you?

LPC: Huh?

LPC: Are you getting cute with me, guy?

LPC: How about I just docy do to the front of the line?

LPC: and talk to you in person a little bit here.

Man(2): I mean, that'll work.

Man(2): I mean, I have a large line.

Man(2): I usually people who are in store.

LPC: I got a large foot and I’m gonna bring it towards your chin bone in a second.

LPC: Comprehending?

Man(2): Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with your phone, but it sounds like...

Man(2): It sounds great.

LPC: Yeah, well, you sound like you're from Ireland or something.

LPC: Can't really make out what you're saying.

Man(2): All right, sir.

Man(2): I'm going to put you a hold.

LPC: Buddy, I'm in the back of the line.

LPC: I don't have all night.

LPC: Here, double time, all right?

LPC: Oh, sorry about that.

LPC: Sorry about that.

LPC: That's a little something I wanted to try out.

LPC: Thanks for indulging me there.

LPC: Austin.

MC: Woo!

SPEAKER_13: There we go.

SPEAKER_13: We're back.

LPC: Thank you so much, everybody.

LPC: Fantastic stuff.

LPC: Okay, I'm with you.

LPC: I am with you here.

MC: Okay, should I give you this other number we got?

LPC: Yeah, please.

LPC: Let's see.

LPC: Okay, sure.

MC: Okay, sure.

LPC: Yeah.

MC: Yeah, he said.

LPC: What’re those numerals, dear person?—

MC: Just throw me the digits.

MC: Okay.

LPC: 210.

LPC: Two, I'm sorry, I wasn't, okay, I'm with you now.

LPC: Two, what?

MC: 210.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: 9-829.

LPC: Okay, is this a person?

Man(3): Yeah, his name’s Roy.

MC: It’s a person named Roy.

LPC: Okay, Roy.

LPC: Here we go.

LPC: It's ringing.

LPC: All right.

LPC: Here we go.

LPC: Roy.

MC: Ooh.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Roy and his age to the...

LPC: Hey, Roy.

LPC: What's up?

LPC: Hey, Roy.

SPEAKER_00: Hey, Roy.

SPEAKER_00: Hey, Roy, what's shaking up there?

LPC: Roy.

LPC: Hey, Roy, what's shaking up there?

LPC: Hey, now, what's up?

LPC: Here, listen to me.

TTS: It's been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

TTS: Oh, one, zero.

TTS: Nine, eight, two, nine.

LPC: Hey, Roy.

TTS: At the tone.

TTS: Roy, please record your message.

LPC: Oh, yeah, I got a hang up by hand.

TTS: You may hang up or press one for more options.

LPC: Yeah, that woulda never— That would never fly on the radio or something.

LPC: I've gotten another number ringing in the interim here.

LPC: We'll see what happens.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: But if you, anyone hearing my voice right now, if you've got some numerals,

LPC: uh, please make your voice count.

LPC: Uh, now is the time.

LPC: Let's get together.

MC: Okay, we’ve got a dad that they wanna talk to—

LPC: Hey, are ya there? Liquor store?

Woman(1): Yes.

LPC: Okay, hey, ah, can ya hear me okay?

Woman(1): Yes.

LPC: Oh, okay, hey, can you hear me okay?

Woman(1): What?

LPC: Super, excellent.

LPC: Okay, hey, listen, how late you there tonight?

Woman(1): Huh?

LPC: I said, how late are you there?

LPC: This can't be the first time you've heard this question.

LPC: Hello?

LPC: Anybody there?

LPC: Liquor store?

SPEAKER_01: Why do you?

Woman(1): What are you calling for?

LPC: I'm calling for the liquor store, the bottle shop.

LPC: Is that you?

Woman(1): Yeah, this is the liquor store.

LPC: Okay, listen, I have a quick question, okay?

LPC: Do you have time for a quick question?

Woman(1): What kinda question?

LPC: Yeah, listen, I got a big old, I got like a really big straw,

LPC: and I just hope to come in tonight and just dip it into some different stuff.

LPC: Just see what direction I want to go.

LPC: Dip it into what I need, all right?

LPC: Is that okay with you up, bro?

Woman(1): What?

LPC: I want to dip my straw in some different liquids.

LPC: Get what I need.

LPC: How does that sound tonight?

LPC: Is that all right with you?

Woman(1): I can understand what you're talking.

Woman(1): If you need something, stop out with store, let's it.

LPC: Yeah, I want to dip my straw on some different flavors and take some big old sips here tonight.

LPC: You with me, gal?

LPC: Is that sympathetico with your decency here tonight?

LPC: Am I floating your boat?

LPC: There, gal?

LPC: Okay, I guess not.

LPC: Hello, you still there, or no, she left?

LPC: Just a little something I wanted to bounce off her.

LPC: Thank you for your time.

LPC: Austin.

LPC: Thank you.

SPEAKER_13: Thank you.

LPC: Thank you.

MC: Okay, we got a dad's phone number.

MC: Do you want that number?

LPC: Bram, totally.

MC: No, he's a dad.

LPC: Oh, shoot, yeah.

MC: Okay, there we go.

MC: He likes it.

MC: Give me the number.

MC: Area code 619, San Diego, nice.

LPC: Oh, cool.

MC: 9067.

LPC: 906, 7.

LPC: Okay, is this person, who's this person?

MC: Yeah, it’s Ben and Kenny’s dad.

LPC: Ben?

LPC: Oh, okay, cool.

LPC: That works.

LPC: It's ringing.

LPC: Okay, here we go.

LPC: Ooh.

LPC: Oh, it's ringing big time.

LPC: Oh, it's ringing in two, three, time.

LPC: Oh, it's ringing two, three times.

SPEAKER_13: Hello, you agree to even.

SPEAKER_13: I stood up.

SPEAKER_15: Oh, they said voice now on the floor, and all I could do...

LPC: Let’s just leave a little message this time.

MC: Okay.

TTS: At the tone, please record your message.

LPC: Yeah.

TTS: When you finished recording, you may hang up, or press one for more options.

TTS: To leave a callback number, press five.

LPC: Yeah, I’ve done this before—

SPEAKER_12: God took me to the bedroom and laid down, and he held me,

SPEAKER_12: and somehow it was like all of heaven was open to me.

SPEAKER_12: Somehow I started to see God.

SPEAKER_12: Well, somehow.

SPEAKER_00: It was the son of God holding me.

LPC: Oh, yeah, you've been there.

LPC: We've all been there.

LPC: All right.

LPC: Well, Kenny gave you the number.

LPC: I'll try you back later.

MC: Okay, I got— Hey, John, gimme the number to Boldin.

MC: Here, let me, hold on.

MC: I got another number for you.

LPC: Super.

MC: This is the job that I work at.

MC: It's a vegan restaurant.

LPC: Oh, nice.

LPC: Well, Katie gave you the number.

LPC: I'll try you back later.

LPC: Cool.

MC: Are you vegetarian and vegan?

MC: Oh, they're open.

LPC: I'm a vegetarian.

LPC: Are you a vegan?

MC: I’m a vegetarian as well.

LPC: Cool.

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: Are they open?

LPC: I get into eggs a little bit.

LPC: I'm a vegetarian.

LPC: I used to never eat eggs or cheese, but now.

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: Are they open?

SPEAKER_04: I get into eggs a little bit.

MC: Okay, yeah, they're open.

MC: Here we go.

MC: Ready?

LPC: Yes, I’m ready.

LPC: I used to never eat eggs or cheese.

MC: 5.1.2.

SPEAKER_04: 5.

SPEAKER_04: Yeah.

LPC: Are they open?

LPC: I get into eggs a little bit.

MC: 16.1.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: They're in that order.

LPC: The numbers are that.

LPC: Okay, who is this person?

LPC: What's the restaurant?

Boldin: Hi! You’ve reached Boldin Creek Cafe—

MC: It’s called Bolden Creek Cafe—

Boldin: For to-go orders or to speak with someone at the restaurant, please dial “1”—

Boldin: For administrative inquiries, please dial two.

Boldin: Have a great day.

LPC: How do I do that?

LPC: Could somebody press one up?

LPC: I can’t press—

SPEAKER_09: Hi, you've reached Bolden Creek Cafe.

MC: Oh, you can’t press “1”?

SPEAKER_09: Or to speak with someone at the restaurant, please dial one.

SPEAKER_09: For administrative inquiries, please dial two.

SPEAKER_09: Have a great day.

LPC: This happens.

LPC: This happens a lot.

MC: I can't believe it.

LPC: Press one.

MC: That was— That was a fuckup. Hang up, then. I guess you can’t press “1”.

LPC: I'm sorry.

MC: Oh, it’s okay! It’s okay! We got more numbers.

LPC: You know, phone trees are just sort of like, I love trees.

LPC: Just not phone trees.

LPC: But.

LPC: Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_00: My mom told me one time that she thought I was brainwashed.

SPEAKER_00: And I thought, yeah, I think you number.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I am brainwashed.

SPEAKER_00: Michael has washed my brain of all my own drop thoughts.

SPEAKER_00: You're getting more stubborn.

LPC: I didn’t hear any o’ that. Sorry, let’s do that one more time. I apologize.

MC: No, you’re good, you’re busy. It’s— I get it—

LPC: No, oh, yeah.

MC: Okay, 713.

LPC: 713. I like it.

MC: 4721.

MC: This is Uncle Stewart.

LPC: Uncle Stewart? Okay, dynamite.

LPC: Dynamite.

SPEAKER_15: It is a defining moment, and God's people are going to be vindicated, and the world is going to be judged.

SPEAKER_15: It's final.

SPEAKER_15: You can take that to the bank.

LPC: It’s ringing.

MC: We're done.

MC: Good sign.

SPEAKER_15: We're talking about leaving the earth.

MC: Yes.

LPC: Oh, really?

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Stewart.

LPC: I think you said Stewart.

LPC: Stuart.

LPC: Stewart.

LPC: Get in gear, guy.

LPC: Let's go.

LPC: Double time.

LPC: Trip-tah.

LPC: Oh, really.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Stewart.

LPC: I think you said, Stuart.

LPC: Stewart.

LPC: Okay, that's fine.

LPC: That's not a problem here.

TTS: Call has been forwarded to an automated voice next.

MC: Oh, my gosh.

LPC: I'm going to take a break.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: I'm going to take a break from some of these numbers.

LPC: and, oh, fuck.

LPC: Hey, so sorry about that.

LPC: I'm really sorry.

MC: Who’s Gallagher?

LPC: What about Gallagher?

MC: Okay, we got a number for you.

MC: Ready?

LPC: You wanna talk to Gallagher?

MC: I guess.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: That's...

LPC: Three.

LPC: Okay, one, nine.

LPC: Oh, shoot.

LPC: I've got the line ringing.

LPC: Okay.

Eddie: So, go out of the line ringing.

LPC: Hey, Eddie.

LPC: Eddie, what's going on?

Eddie: Yeah, much.

Eddie: How about you?

LPC: Hey, good, man.

LPC: Hey, listen.

LPC: Do you guys got any testies up, uh?

Eddie: What is it?

LPC: Testes.

Eddie: ”’Testine”?

LPC: Yeah.

Eddie: Intestine, you mean?

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: I need to get some tonight.

LPC: I need about 20 pounds tonight.

LPC: Any testes up, bar?

Eddie: Okay, Eddie.

LPC: Eddie.

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: You got that in stock, or?

Eddie: Do you want the tenders or instant?

LPC: I want a tendon.

Eddie: Tendent.

Eddie: Yeah, hold on.

Eddie: Let me check.

LPC: Some tendon tenders. And some, uh—

Eddie: Yeah, tendon, beef, right?

LPC: Yeah, beef, tendon.

Eddie: Yeah, hold on.

Eddie: Let me let me double-check.

LPC: I got a cousin back geese goes crazy for that shit.

LPC: So, tendon.

Eddie: Hold on.

Eddie: Let me just check it up.

LPC: Check it out.

LPC: Oh, by all means.

LPC: Check it out.

LPC: By all means.

LPC: Vinnie, come up here.

LPC: You know something?

LPC: You killed my mother.

LPC: I'm going to kill you.

LPC: Yeah, you find out that pricing structure and get back to the output.

LPC: Meanwhile, this smoke shop...

Eddie: We don't have any entrance right now.

Eddie: We're sold out.

Eddie: We're going to get some more till Friday.

Eddie: but we had attendance.

LPC: Okay, okay, okay.

LPC: Hey, um...

Woman(2): Yeah, hello.

LPC: Hey, yeah, so, uh, buddy, can I get some urine from you tonight?

LPC: Would that be all right?

LPC: Yes.

Eddie: I mean, I...

Eddie: We're going to order the intense thing tomorrow for Friday.

LPC: For, so Friday I can get some urine and maybe some regurgitation.

LPC: Would that be okay from you on Friday then?

Eddie: Yeah, for sure.

Eddie: We're going to order in.

Eddie: How many pounds are you looking for?

LPC: I'm looking for some nostrils.

LPC: Do you ever come across that, or if I give you, like, a credit card number?

LPC: I can— I can give ya a credit card—

Eddie: No, it's good.

Eddie: You just come over on Friday.

Eddie: We're going to have it now.

LPC: If I give you, like, a credit card number?

LPC: I needed some, like I say, some testes and some tendons and some regurgitation.

LPC: Like, two ounces of regurgitation and some lips.

LPC: And I think that's my list.

LPC: That'll be fine, then, you said?

Eddie: Just come out on Friday.

Eddie: We're going to order tomorrow for Friday.

LPC: Sure, lemme give you my credit card right now. And you can go ahead and, uh, process—

Eddie: You don't need to.

LPC: Oh, free o’ charge?—

Eddie: Yeah.

Eddie: Yeah, you don't need to.

LPC: Oh, free o’ charge!—

Eddie: No, we don't take it over the phone.

LPC: Oh, free of charge?

LPC: Can I have some of your urine?

LPC: Just to tide me over, would that be okay with you?

Eddie: I'm in a bun.

LPC: Oh, so if I come over, you’ll hook me up with some of your own urine, is what you’re saying?

Eddie: No, I mean, uh, just come over on Friday and— We—we don’t take over the phone.

LPC: [delay]Oh, so if I come over, you’ll hook me up with some of your own urine, is what you’re saying?—

LPC: Okay, so I can get some of your regurgitation, or…?—

Eddie: Yeah.

Eddie: Please come over.

Eddie: We're going to have a note for you.

LPC: Oh, sounds good.

Eddie: Friday.

LPC: Yeah.

Eddie: Thank you, watch.

LPC: Hey, smoke shop?

LPC: So I can get some of your...

Eddie: Yeah, we open at seven tonight, okay?

LPC: Oh, sounds good.

Eddie: Seven in the morning tonight—tonight—

LPC: Okay, goodbye.

LPC: Hey, Smoke Shop, you there?

LPC: How late you guys open up there?

LPC: Yeah, I special ordered that prism.

LPC: I was wondering if you guys had received it in yet, like a custom order.

Man(4): I don’t recognize your voice—

LPC: Yes.

LPC: You recognize who now?

SPEAKER_15: We are naked.

LPC: So you do what now?

LPC: I'm sorry, I'm at a pay phone.

LPC: I couldn't quite comprehend.

Man(4): We're good at that.

LPC: So you do what now?

LPC: So, I—I special ordered that, uh…

SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that...

LPC: Yeah, that...

LPC: that sort of prismatic,

LPC: that emblematic sort of chamber.

LPC: Oh.

LPC: Mismatic.

LPC: I talked to Gus on that.

LPC: Oh, what is that coming in?

Man(4): Okay, I'm sorry.

Man(4): My apologies.

Man(4): Here, this is someone talking tonight.

Woman(2): Hello?

LPC: Hi, what's going on?

LPC: I need to use you guys’ restroom, if that’s alright.

LPC: I'm able to.

Woman(2): In my car?

LPC: I'm driving right now.

LPC: Yeah, I'm driving right now.

LPC: I could be there in about, oh, 90, 95 minutes from now.

Woman(2): What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_03: I'm driving right now.

LPC: Yeah, I need to use the restroom, young lady.

LPC: 95 minutes from now.

LPC: So can I just get with you a little bit later or...

LPC: I used to go and use the restroom of the young lady.

LPC: Yeah, I'll be there in 95 minutes.

LPC: Okay, and then we'll get together.

Woman(2): Yeah, just meet me and meet me.

Woman(2): in Washington and you can use my bathroom in Washington.

LPC: Yeah, I'll be there 95 minutes.

LPC: I'll meet you in the alley and then we'll get down

LPC: to business, sound good.

Woman(2): All right, Damien.

LPC: We'll get comfortable.

LPC: How about in the alley?

LPC: Leisure time.

LPC: I'll just be good or...

SPEAKER_00: It's just going to be awesome.

SPEAKER_00: I don't leave this.

SPEAKER_00: We'll be behind.

SPEAKER_00: We'll get comfortable.

SPEAKER_00: She's just going to be awesome.

SPEAKER_00: It's just going to be awesome.

SPEAKER_00: Just going to be awesome.

SPEAKER_00: It's just going to be awesome.

None: It's just going to be awesome.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Dynamite.

LPC: Have a great night.

LPC: Okay?

Woman(2): Okay.

LPC: Oh, uh-huh.

LPC: Take care.

LPC: Okay, dynamite.

LPC: Have a great night.

LPC: Austin.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Many things.

MC: Okay.

MC: We've got more numbers.

LPC: Oh, sick.

LPC: Yeah, yeah.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: I'm ready to receive.

MC: Okay.

MC: Here, I'm going to give you the number to the record shop in town.

LPC: Oh, cool.

LPC: Okay.

MC: Okay.

MC: It's 512.

LPC: 512.

LPC: 2-5-0.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: What's the name of this store?

MC: This one’s Waterloo.

LPC: Oh, nice.

LPC: Okay.

MC: They close in like eight minutes—

LPC: Okay, let’s get together.

LPC: All right.

SPEAKER_15: My dad said that he was God.

SPEAKER_15: It's a video.

LPC: Hey, Waterloo.

Man(5): Uh-huh.

LPC: Yeah, you got any videos up ‘ere?

Man(5): Any videos.

Man(5): Yeah, we have a ton of videos. Yeah—

LPC: Oh, yeah.

LPC: Are they, and do you have any for sale or?

LPC: Yeah.

Man(5): Yeah.

Man(5): all sorts.

Man(5): We have hundreds for sale.

LPC: Oh.

LPC: Okay, I need to go through all those.

LPC: I'll be there in a few minutes.

LPC: I need to go through all of those.

Man(5): We're closing in about five minutes.

LPC: Well you can make an exception, since I’m local, right?

Man(7): Hello.

LPC: Can I give you my credit card and we can just take a look through there or?

LPC: Waterloo, you know, is with me?

LPC: Yeah, what's up?

Man(5): Uh, yeah.

LPC: Who's all on the phone here?

Man(5): I don't know.

Man(5): I think this sounds like a prank call to me.

LPC: Who asked you?

Man(5): I didn't need to be asked.

Man(5): You have a nice night.

LPC: Yeah, you take care o’ yourself, guy.

Man(5): I will.

Man(5): You too, man.

LPC: Keep in touch with yourself, okay?

LPC: Bye-bye.

LPC: Austin.

LPC: I love you guys.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Are they going to answer?

LPC: I swear it.

MC: Okay, I've got a number and I've got to guarantee that they're going to answer.

MC: You ready?

LPC: I love it.

LPC: I'm ready.

LPC: I've got it.

MC: Okay.

MC: 914-8-383.

LPC: 8383.

LPC: Okay, now who is this, lucky person?

MC: His name is Colin.

LPC: Colin.

SPEAKER_15: It wasn't at my instruction.

SPEAKER_15: MDs even put their fingers.

LPC: Colin, you said?

LPC: Okay.

MC: Yeah.

LPC: Hey, Colin.

Colin: Hello?

LPC: Colin.

Colin: Yeah.

LPC: Yeah, that's what I've been doing.

LPC: Calling you all night.

LPC: You haven't answered?

LPC: What's up, man?

SPEAKER_03: How's it going?

LPC: This is Louie.

Colin: Oh, what’s up, Louie?

LPC: Oh, not too much.

LPC: Not too much.

LPC: Hey, you know that QVC channel?

LPC: Yeah, you probably see.

LPC: Home shopping, yeah.

LPC: I got a bunch of this, like, I don't know, pancake makeup,

LPC: and I just can't decide.

LPC: It's a new product.

LPC: It's real hot.

LPC: Suzanne Summers.

LPC: Is it okay if I just put some on your face,

LPC: take a real good look at you, see if I like the style?

LPC: I just need to see what it looks like.

LPC: Take a good look at it.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Put this makeup on your cheek.

Colin: You tryin’ ta put the make-up on my face?

LPC: On your cheeks, yeah; just on your cheeks. [inhales]

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: See what it looks like.

LPC: Because I got to, you know, make it.

Colin: Yeah, that's fine.

Colin: I'm down.

Colin: I like makeup.

LPC: Formulated decision.

LPC: You know, I got to, you know, make an educated, you know, sort of.

Colin: Yeah, no, you gotta understand what that makeup’s gonna look like.

LPC: You got to understand what I’m reppin’—

LPC: You got to know what I'm reping.

LPC: You know what I'm saying.

Colin: Oh, absolutely.

Colin: Yeah, yeah.

Colin: What brand?

LPC: So it's Susan Summer's like,

LPC: say it's a signature piece, a signature line.

Colin: Uh-huh.

LPC: It's some pancake, some base.

LPC: There's some espadrilles in there.

LPC: Different stuff.

LPC: We're going to get real different stuff.

LPC: We're going to get real different.

LPC: 4 a.m. 430, set your alarm.

LPC: Sounds good.

SPEAKER_03: Hey, we're asking you up you.

LPC: Auto parts?

Colin: Hello?

LPC: Auto parts?

Colin: What was that?

LPC: Yeah, yeah, guy.

LPC: I need that freaking, um, I need that

LPC: uh, V number.

LPC: Real, real, real bad.

LPC: guy. I can give you $8, $9. Okay. You're in my neighbor. I don't know who else to call.

LPC: I think I really... On the VIN number that we need?

SPEAKER_03: Do you return a lookable apart?

LPC: Yeah, I need a new VIN number for my car. I got big problems over here.

SPEAKER_04: What's the VIN number? Yeah, I need a new VIN number.

SPEAKER_04: New VIN number? I need a new VIN number for my automobile. I need a new VIN number for my automobile. I need a new VIN number for.

SPEAKER_04: for my automobile?

LPC: A VIN number for your automobile.

Man(8): That way you have to call the CHP, and they'll give you a VIN number for your vehicle.

LPC: Yeah, I don't have a bit of an expedited basis right now.

LPC: I don't really have time for this.

LPC: So can we get together tonight and just get somethin’ goin’?

LPC: Okay, I'll just be there when you close and you can meet me in the alley and we'll take care of business.

LPC: Is that all right?

LPC: I'll catch you a money order.

LPC: Oh, I'm on hold, yeah.

LPC: Yeah. What’d you come up with?—

SPEAKER_03: You say you need a Venn number?

LPC: I need a new VIN number, yeah.

LPC: Like ASAP?

Man(8): You don't have to call those C-RP for that.

Man(8): They take care of VIN numbers and all that.

LPC: No, I need to do this on the down low guy.

SPEAKER_03: On a down low?

LPC: Yeah. It’s real important

Man(8): Uh, then you need to go to one in Santa Ana on first street and I believe and Main?

LPC: Okay, first in Maine.

LPC: Uh-huh.

Man(8): Uh, there should be a dude for that around the corner. And they’ll hook you up with a VIN number there.

LPC: Oh, the guy in the kilt with the bagpipe?

LPC: Yeah, I remember him.

LPC: I remember him.

LPC: I remember him. I remember him.

Man(8): Yeah.

LPC: Does he take money orders or?

SPEAKER_13: Uh, big cash, money orders, or

SPEAKER_13: or stamps.

LPC: Yeah, I used to trade stamps with that guy.

LPC: I remember him.

LPC: big time.

LPC: He had the kill in the bagpipe.

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: Totally, dude.

LPC: Totally, totally, totally, totally, totally.

LPC: Totally, dude.

LPC: Totally, totally, totally, totally.

SPEAKER_03: Totally, totally, totally.

LPC: Cool, boss.

LPC: Anything else to help you with?

LPC: Maybe an alternator, a starter?

LPC: Yeah, I need to use a restroom, too. Um—

LPC: —so I’ll just be stoppin’ by after you close, okay?

Man(8): Okay.

Man(8): Yeah, definitely.

LPC: Perfect.

LPC: We'll cook some meat, okay?

LPC: Take a few big bites out of it.

LPC: All right.

LPC: Okay, take care of yourself.

Man(8): All right, thank you.

LPC: Wah-huh. Big time.

LPC: [laughs] Woo! Austin! Yes, indeed, yes, indeed! Thank you! Woo!

None: Woo.

MC: Woo-hoo!

LPC: Yes, indeed. Thank you.

MC: You—? You want another number?

LPC: Yes, please. Yes, I do.

LPC: Yes, indeed. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_00: It's just going to be awesome.

SPEAKER_00: Okay. It's just going to be awesome.

SPEAKER_00: Just going to be awesome.

LPC: Yes, please.

LPC: Yes.

LPC: And 401. I see what you're saying.

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: 2, 288.

LPC: Okay, 401, I see what you're saying.

LPC: Okay, it's ring.

LPC: Who is this?

MC: His name’s Nick.

TTS: [breaks up] call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system—

LPC: Okay, it's ring.

LPC: Who is this?

LPC: 256.

LPC: Hey, Nick.

TTS: Is not available.

LPC: Hey, Nick, what's up, Bo, Burrack out?

TTS: At the tone, please record your message.

TTS: When you've finished recording, you may hang up, or press one for more options.

LPC: Nick, what's up guy?

LPC: Uh, you need to, uh, bring your bins in close to your house.

LPC: Okay?

LPC: Appreciate your time.

LPC: Certainly do.

LPC: Uh, certainly.

LPC: Bring your bins in close to your house.

LPC: Nick, what's up, guy?

SPEAKER_12: I know that people think we're going to commit suicide, but I can't comprehend it in my mind.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Time and certainly do, uh, bring your bins in close to your house.

LPC: Nick, what's up, guy?

LPC: Okay.

LPC: I appreciate your time.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Alex Trebek is coming up next.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Here we go.

LPC: This is just like a repeat.

SPEAKER_15: And nakedness is...

LPC: Hey, Alex, you there?

LPC: It's ringing.

SPEAKER_12: It's sworn in the Bible.

SPEAKER_15: [sample of Wayne Bent ]And nakedness is another symbol of our relationship with God.

LPC: You know what I mean?

LPC: Kind, sir.

LPC: That’s kinda—the—my message tonight.

LPC: Are you with me, sir?

SPEAKER_15: Yes.

LPC: Yes.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Thank you, Alex, for your brief but altogether enjoyable time here tonight.

MC: We have a Scientologist number.

MC: Would that interest you?

LPC: Yes, definitely.

MC: Okay.

LPC: Okay.

MC: Are they going to answer?

Woman(3): They probably will.

MC: Okay.

LPC: Good.

MC: Okay.

MC: 727.

LPC: Uh-huh.

MC: 5133.

LPC: Very good.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: And what's the name of this person?

SPEAKER_15: I am the embodiment of God.

MC: It might be Geneva.

LPC: Geneva, perfect.

LPC: Thank you.

SPEAKER_15: I am the embodiment of God.

SPEAKER_15: I am divinity and humanity combined.

SPEAKER_12: Well, he is the most.

SPEAKER_12: The most of God.

SPEAKER_12: Messiah.

SPEAKER_12: He is.

Vicky: Hi, this is Vicki.

Vicky: Please be your message, and I will get back to you.

Vicky: Thank you.

SPEAKER_12: In spirit.

MC: Okay.

MC: Who has a number that is not going to go to voicemail?

TTS: Hang up or stay on the line for further options.

MC: Better not be lying.

Man(9): 512.

LPC: Oh, are you reciting the number?

LPC: Oh, okay.

MC: Oh, yeah.

MC: Okay, here we go.

MC: 512.

LPC: Okay.

MC: 5576.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: And who is it?

MC: Okay.

MC: Her name is Selby, and apparently she's Selby.

MC: or buying a motorcycle?

LPC: Hey, liquor store?

Woman(1): Yes.

LPC: Hi, how late are you open?

Woman(1): How what?

LPC: How what?

LPC: Yes.

LPC: Can you hear me up?

LPC: Store?

LPC: How what?

LPC: Liquor store.

LPC: Liquor store?

LPC: Okay, she's gone.

LPC: Now we're calling Selby, did you say?

TTS: You have reached the maximum time permitted for recording your message.

LPC: Oh, have I really.

TTS: If you're satisfied with the message, press one.

TTS: Oh, to listen to you.

TTS: your message, press 2.

TTS: To erase and re-record, press “3”.

LPC: Is that right?

LPC: Selby.

MC: Selby.

TTS: If you're satisfied with the message, press 1.

TTS: To listen to your message, press 2.

LPC: It's still ringing, of all things.

LPC: Selby is ringing.

TTS: [breaks up] call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

TTS: 5.1.

LPC: Okay.

TTS: 3.5, 7.

TTS: 6 is not available.

MC: 512.

LPC: Shh.

LPC: Okay.

MC: 2587.

LPC: Two, five, eight, seven.

LPC: Now, who is this, please?

MC: Uh, ask for Brian.

LPC: Brian, okay.

LPC: Let me change this stuff for a fast.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Hello, Brian.

LPC: Hello.

LPC: Hey, Brian.

LPC: Brian.

None: Brian.

LPC: Hey, Brian.

LPC: Brian.

LPC: There we go.

LPC: Hey, Brian.

Joe: Thank you for calling wings up.

Joe: This is Joe.

Joe: How can I help you?

LPC: Hey, Joe.

LPC: Is Brian Ryan, Ryan?

LPC: Is Brian around?

Joe: No, he’s actually not!

LPC: Oh, what’s up, Joe?—

Joe: Oh, wait, wait. Which Brian?

Joe: You know, Brian.

Joe: Brian's the work here.

LPC: Yeah, the big Brian.

LPC: The big guy.

Joe: Oh, yeah, bear?

LPC: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, can I talk to him real quick?

Joe: Yeah, gimme one sec—

LPC: You bet.

Joe: Lemme find where he went off to here.

LPC: Oh, yeah, guys, I was wandering around.

LPC: Nomad, right?

LPC: Yeah, no mad this freaking guy.

LPC: What's his name again?

MC: Brian.

LPC: Brian, thank you.

LPC: Hey, thank you.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Hey.

LPC: Oh, good.

LPC: Hey, Brian.

LPC: Hey, Brian, what’s kickin’, dude?—

LPC: Brian.

LPC: Hey, Brian, you're there?

Brian: I’m here.

LPC: Hey, what’s up, guy?

Brian: How are you?

LPC: Hey, good, listen.

LPC: I met you in the washroom the other day.

LPC: You said to give you a call.

Brian: What's up, buddy?

Brian: What you're trying to do, buddy?

LPC: When are you off work, guy?

Brian: Who is this?

LPC: This is Jebediah.

LPC: So I just wanted to make sure I got back with you right away, you know, right away.

SPEAKER_00: It's just going to be awesome.

LPC: I leave it.

LPC: So you want to go to the bathroom a little later?

LPC: What do you think?

Brian: It sounds like Moshe Kasher.

LPC: Oh, what's that?

LPC: Did you say Moesha?

LPC: I'm a big Moisha fan.

LPC: She's funny, funny Raven, Moisha.

LPC: Real funny stuff.

LPC: Later.

LPC: Well.

LPC: Austin?

LPC: Austin.

LPC: Thank you.

MC: Okay, we got more numbers.

MC: Do you want more numbers?

LPC: Let's take another one.

MC: Okay, we’ll take another one.

MC: This is the last one.

Man(11): 512.

MC: 8780.

MC: I'm sorry, 8760.

LPC: 876.

LPC: That's okay.

LPC: Who is this person?

MC: Kevin and he is a scumbag.

LPC: Great, here we go. Kevin the scumbag.

LPC: Let's take five one.

SPEAKER_13: Is it a...

LPC: Kevin.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Kevin, okay.

SPEAKER_12: This means literally, physically naked.

LPC: Okay, good, good, good.

SPEAKER_12: It's sworn in the Bible.

SPEAKER_12: My mom told me...

LPC: Kevin?

LPC: What's his name?

SPEAKER_12: Kevin.

MC: Kevin.

LPC: Kevin.

LPC: Okay, cool.

TTS: Paul has been forwarded to an automated voice system.

MC: Too many people, like, screen their calls nowadays, I feel.

LPC: Yeah, you're telling me.

LPC: It's not.

MC: It's random numbers.

TTS: It's true.

TTS: Please record your message.

TTS: When you finished recording, you may hang up or press one...

MC: Give me a number that's...

MC: It's guaranteed answer.

MC: I want a guarantee answer.

None: I want a guarantee answer.

None: Caller!

MC: Okay.

MC: Whoever wants...

MC: I just need someone to give me a number.

MC: They're going to answer.

Man(11): This is the TGI Fridays in Anchorage, Alaska.

SPEAKER_00: Okay.

SPEAKER_00: Let's give them a...

MC: Ready?

MC: 907.

LPC: 907.

MC: 8443.

LPC: 8443.

LPC: And this is TGI Fridays?

MC: Yeah, TGI Fridays in Alaska.

LPC: Okay, cool.

LPC: It's ringing.

LPC: Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_01: Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: We are located on the intersection

SPEAKER_01: of Tudor and...

MC: Oh, it’s another recording!

TGIF: Our restaurant hours are 11 a.m.

TGIF: to 11 a.m.

TGIF: 11 p.m. Sunday through Thursday.

TGIF: —and 11 AM ’til midnight Friday and Saturday.

MC: We got a number for IHOP.

LPC: Oh, okay.

MC: Okay.

MC: 512.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: 512.

MC: 731-1-1.

None: 7-3-1.

LPC: 7-1.

LPC: Okay, I-Hop.

LPC: Here we go.

LPC: 4-5-2.

LPC: Here we go.

LPC: I-Hop in 5-1-2.

LPC: Well, that's in Texas, isn't it?

LPC: Well...

MC: Go to Austin.

MC: Texas.

LPC: No.

SPEAKER_15: Well, yes.

SPEAKER_15: It wasn't.

SPEAKER_15: Yes.

LPC: Okay, IHOP.

LPC: Here we go.

SPEAKER_15: I am the embodiment of God.

SPEAKER_15: MDs are with naked people.

LPC: Hey, IHOP.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Let's see what we got here.

SPEAKER_15: I am the embodiment.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: International House of Pancakes.

LPC: It's ringing.

LPC: They're going to be answering momentarily.

IHOP: Thank you for call of your IHOP restaurant.

IHOP: Currently, we are assisting other guests.

MC: Ah, they’re poppin’ off, apparently!

SPEAKER_08: order.

MC: Okay, here.

MC: We got one more number to try.

TTS: Thank you and have an excellent day.

MC: Okay, we got a number for you.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: What is that?

MC: 238.

LPC: Uh-huh.

MC: 7700.

MC: It's called Perfect 10.

MC: It's a club in town.

LPC: Okay, great.

LPC: Okay, here we go.

LPC: Perfect 10.

LPC: Okay, Perfect 10.

SPEAKER_15: I was educated in your world.

LPC: Hey, Perfect.

LPC: 10?

Woman(4): Yes.

LPC: Hey, are you guys open right now—open for business up ‘ere? [exhales]

LPC: Okay, great.

Woman(4): Yes, we’re open ’til 2.

LPC: Up until 2 a.m.?

LPC: Dynamite.

LPC: Hey, listen, I just kind of moved into the area.

LPC: I'm new here.

LPC: I'm not really sure which direction I don't want to go

LPC: tonight.

LPC: Let me just bring my big old flexible straw in there

LPC: and just dip it into whatever I need

LPC: and kind of get a flavor for everything.

LPC: How's that sound tonight?

LPC: That'd be all right.

LPC: Be acceptable with you up there.

Woman(4): M’kay, what is your question?

LPC: I just wanted to see.

LPC: if I could bring my flexible straw in there tonight

LPC: to sort of dip it into whatever I need

LPC: and try some different samples on here tonight.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Austin, thank you very much.

LPC: Look for, please.

LPC: Look for Longmont 16 to come out on Friday.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Austin, thank you very much.

SPEAKER_04: And look for Potion Castle on.

SPEAKER_04: We got a lot of 16 to come on Friday.

LPC: This is going to be awesome.

LPC: Okay. Thank you so much.

LPC: And thank you so much.

LPC: So thank you so much.

LPC: Friday.

LPC: It's going to be awesome.

LPC: Thank you so much.

LPC: And it's a long on potioncastle.com.

LPC: Thank you so much.

MC: Love you!

LPC: It's going to be awesome.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_13: Thank you so much.