Vivek: Hey.

Vivek: Hi.

LPC: How are you doing?

Vivek: We're doing good, LPC.

Vivek: How are you doing?

Vivek: You want to say hi, Montreal?

Vivek: You want to say hi to LPC?

LPC: Hi, Montreal.

LPC: Hi.

LPC: Hello.

LPC: Oh, yeah.

LPC: Very good.

LPC: How's my level?

LPC: There we go.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Dynamite.

LPC: Mike.

LPC: I'm happy to be here tonight.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Thank you so much.

LPC: I just had a Beyond Beef burger.

LPC: And that was pretty special.

LPC: Oh, yeah.

LPC: I'm getting my things together here.

LPC: Happy to be with you.

Vivek: Thanks for this LPC.

Vivek: Well, people are fairly quiet here.

Vivek: I don't know if they believe you're online or not.

Vivek: But I don't know if anybody has any questions for LPC, anything they want to ask him.

Vivek: —you might wanna come up to the phone, so… Don’t line up or anything!

SPEAKER_02: Hey, um, are my on?

LPC: Yeah.

Woman(1): You pray?

Woman(1): I called me at your Toronto show, and I was wondering if you had a recording of that

Woman(1): and could send it to me.

Woman(1): I was the one he sounded like you said sounded like a cheerleader.

LPC: Yeah, I totally do.

LPC: Yeah, Toronto, you said.

LPC: You should send me a direct message, and then I'll have your email address and I'll send it to you.

LPC: Sure thing.

LPC: Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_02: Thank you.

LPC: It's Longmont Potion Castle at G.

LPC: Gmail.com.

LPC: Yes.

LPC: And that'll be super.

LPC: That'll be super, suburb and supreme.

LPC: Super superb and supreme.

LPC: While I'm on the microphone, still our feet.

LPC: Good question.

LPC: I remember being at that too much.

Man(1): Hi, next question.

LPC: Hi.

Man(1): Big fan.

TTS: …has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

LPC: Hi.

Man(1): Hi.

Man(1): I asked your.

Man(1): producer, if he could sign my record and he denied me.

Man(1): So, could you please tell him to do it?

LPC: What record have you got?—

Man(1): Because I didn't really get in the movie.

Man(1): It's like a seven-inch punk record.

Man(1): It's good for a coaster or frisbee.

LPC: So what are you trying to accomplish?

Man(1): To get your producer here to sign it.

LPC: Why won’t he do that?

Man(1): I don't know.

Man(1): He denied me because he said that you're the real star of the show.

Man(1): No, you're not even here.

LPC: Oh, well, that's awfully considerate.

LPC: So, let's see here.

LPC: What can we do?

LPC: We need an arbitrator, apparently, to weigh in here.

LPC: Can we have an audience poll who thinks that the producer should sign this kind young man's record album?

LPC: Can we hear from you?

LPC: Let's hear you.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: There we go.

Man(1): It's very quiet.

Man(1): I don't worry about it.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Oh, boy.

LPC: Well, tonight's young.

LPC: We'll do something for you.

LPC: I have a sense.

LPC: That's what's going to happen.

LPC: Oh, boy.

Vivek: Hey, uh, LPC, are you—? Are you good to, uh, to take some calls or some number so that you can call from our audience?

LPC: I'm happy to.

LPC: I'm doing that in the background, but no one's answering, so sure.

Vivek: Oh, and we've got some questions, too, but yeah.

TTS: …call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.

Vivek: Or a question.

Vivek: Go for it.

Vivek: Ask your question.

Vivek: We have a question first, LPC.

Woman(2): Yeah.

Woman(2): Hi.

LPC: Hi.

Woman(2): What is a sibilant flutterer?

LPC: You saw that, huh?

Woman(2): Yeah, what does it do?

LPC: Well, it's, for those of you who don't know, I have a recording studio here in my house.

LPC: And I have this rack furniture.

LPC: You can put rack-mount equipment in, yada, yada, yada.

LPC: I've got about 40 spaces.

LPC: A cabinet on the left of the mixer.

LPC: the right of the mixer.

LPC: And, uh, yeah.

LPC: And there's a bunch of stuff in there.

LPC: I actually went through and sold some of my gear.

LPC: I mean, I just had tons and tons of stuff.

LPC: But I, I sold some of it just because.

LPC: And I didn't want to see a blank space in there.

LPC: It was kind of bumming me out, right?

LPC: So I created my own rack gear that just a secret between you and I.

LPC: It doesn't really do anything.

LPC: But, uh, I gave them my own rack gear.

LPC: own names. Like one of them is the sibilant flutterer. Oh, yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, big time.

LPC: Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. There's a dissonant mixed tempest.

LPC: That's another one. There's the, uh, this one's my favorite, the lyrical de-distressor.

LPC: You can switch your vocals between, uh, Rocky, Springsteen, Dylan, Cookie Monster, and so on.

LPC: And, uh, there's a few others.

LPC: What do they do?

LPC: They just, uh, they put a smile on my face.

LPC: Rather than a frown. You know what I mean?

LPC: So, uh, that's the meaning of this.

LPC: Thanks for asking. That's a great question.

Woman(2): Thank you.

LPC: Oh, yeah.

LPC: Say, thank you.

Vivek: You, you, you, you, you, you, you, so, so LPC, we have some numbers.

LPC: Okay, great!

SPEAKER_02: Oh, six, four, seven, one, two, four, nine.

LPC: Okay, what’s the name of this person?—

Woman(1): Their name is Steph.

Steph: Hello?

LPC: Steph.

Steph: Yeah, it’s Steph.

LPC: Hi, yeah, this is, this is Kip.

LPC: This is Kip. I’m, uh, new to the area here and I do solar. I do solar panels—

LPC: So I'm going to be, uh, going up on rooftops tomorrow.

LPC: I just need about 20 minutes on your roof, take some specs, get your measurements, and then, uh, I can go over the details and different quotes for you on the solar, okay?

LPC: So I'll be able to be used.

Steph: Okay, well, I don't, yeah, I don't own this house, so I have to make sure the owner of the house is here.

Steph: So what time are you going to come?

LPC: Oh, what are you going to come?

LPC: 4.30 a.m. for about 20 minutes?

Steph: Yeah, she'll be awake at 4.30, but that seems kind of dangerous for you to be going up on the house in the middle of the night.

LPC: Well, you know, just between you and I, I take a little, uh, sir or two, uh, calm my nerves kinda thing.

LPC: So I'll be funny.

LPC: Don't you worry about me? I wear gloves and goggles. I get into it. So, you know what I'm saying up there.

LPC: Yes, yes.

LPC: So I'll be on the roof. Don't you worry about a thing?

LPC: I'm going to give you.

LPC: you a great deal, too. Okay, a smoking deal, because I'm new to the area up here.

Steph: Okay. Ah, well, uh, what’s your name? Kip? Do you have like a business or something?

Steph: Kippie. Yes. Can I like, like, do you have like a website or? Yes. It's called mechanism.

LPC: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

LPC: Okay. And I'm going to give you the best deal I can.

LPC: And we actually...

Steph: Wait, tonight at 4:30 or tomorrow at 4? Like, what day at 4:30 in the morning? Like, what day—?

LPC: 4.30 a.m.

Steph: Like, what day, though? Like, I need to know what day?

LPC: The 7th.

LPC: It'll be tomorrow at 4.30 a.m.

LPC: Okay. I'll be up top.

LPC: If you want to meet me up there, we can talk about some lunar panels that I've got.

LPC: I'm letting the cat out of the bag slightly.

LPC: It's a new development. We've got lunar panels coming up.

LPC: Really exciting.

Steph: My housemates, she likes that shit.

Steph: She likes lunar and solar.

Steph: She's like an old hippie.

Steph: So, yeah, I'll just make sure she's around.

Steph: But she'll be awake at 430.

Steph: Okay.

LPC: Super.

LPC: And if you have any kind of pasta or anything, even leftovers, just heat it up.

LPC: That'd be great for me, okay?

LPC: Appreciate your time.

LPC: Thank you so much.

LPC: Uh-huh.

LPC: Oh, uh-huh.

Steph: Okay.

LPC: Thank you, Steph.

LPC: Oh, sure.

LPC: Yes.

LPC: Well.

LPC: Thank you.

Vivek: Hey, thanks, thanks LBC.

Vivek: Hey, I've got another number here.

Vivek: Are you good to go on this one?

LPC: Certainly.

LPC: It is a fine moment and got two people who are going to be vindicated.

SPEAKER_09: Yes.

Woman(3): Yeah, what up?

Woman(3): 848-3717.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: It's ringing.

LPC: What's this person's name, please?

Woman(4): Courteous security.

Woman(4): To report an emergency, press one.

Woman(4): Now, for all of the matters, press two.

SPEAKER_04: For signaling a situation of urgency,

SPEAKER_04: appellate on the one.

SPEAKER_04: For all other situations,

SPEAKER_04: appellate on the two.

LPC: Huh.

LPC: Is this the police?

Woman(3): No.

Woman(5): No.

Woman(5): I have help you?

LPC: Hi, yes.

Woman(5): Hello?

Woman(5): Yes.

Woman(5): I can help you.

LPC: Yeah, I have an opossum here.

LPC: Run and wild.

LPC: It took off with my wristwatch.

LPC: Up here.

Woman(5): Someone stole your wristwatch?

LPC: I know possum did.

LPC: A wild opossum running wild.

LPC: What am I supposed to do up here?

Woman(5): Where is it?

LPC: It's on top of my neighbor's roof now.

LPC: It's got my wristwatch and its teeth right here.

Woman(5): Are you on Concordia property?

LPC: Yes.

LPC: Big time.

Woman(5): Okay.

Woman(5): What's building?

LPC: Now, I threw some walnuts and some almonds at this thing.

LPC: And it's not returning my watch.

LPC: It's just not returning my...

LPC: Time.

Woman(5): piece here. Okay, so what's the building?

LPC: Uh, well, I’d—I’d rather not say, at this time.

Woman(5): Okay, no problem! We’ll connect you with 911. Just hold on.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: We'll try Nikki 6 here, is what I'm going to do.

LPC: Hi.

LPC: Are you there?

Vivek: Yeah, we’re here.

LPC: Okay, well, I don’t know if I should hang up or— on these people.

None: We're on this people.

Woman(5): We're on here.

Woman(5): I call the Security Concordia.

Woman(5): He said that it would be on one of the edifices.

Woman(5): And there's someone who has been

Woman(5): to gollied, it, it's a monster, and then he wants

Woman(5): some pinot on the person, but

Woman(5): but I'll not confirm it's a localization.

Woman(5): Okay, I'll let you let the

Woman(5): Mr. Parley.

SPEAKER_06: And you, you know, you're

SPEAKER_06: of the security Concordia?

Woman(5): Yes.

SPEAKER_06: Okay.

SPEAKER_06: And then, then, you know,

SPEAKER_06: you'll know the passer because we're

SPEAKER_06: more able to localize

SPEAKER_06: in your building in your

SPEAKER_06: building?

Woman(5): I imagine.

Woman(5): You're on the line?

SPEAKER_06: Yes.

SPEAKER_06: Have you the telephone

SPEAKER_06: of what's what he

SPEAKER_06: is?

Woman(5): It's going to be in the 2-1-3?

SPEAKER_06: Is it a cellular or is it a telephone?

LPC: I’m here.

Woman(5): Okay.

Woman(5): Are you calling from your cell phone?

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

Woman(5): Okay.

SPEAKER_01: Yes.

Woman(5): 2.1.3. 3. 3.3. 3.6.1. 7.7.7.8.

SPEAKER_06: And it's he who called.

LPC: Oh, we got cut off. Oh, weird.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: I don't think I should be time.

LPC: up 9-1-1 anyway, so it's fun.

LPC: You know what I'm saying?

Woman(3): It was from Cordia security.

Woman(3): They're very nice.

Woman(3): They're very helpful.

Woman(3): They did a very good job.

Woman(3): They're very thorough.

Woman(3): Thank you.

LPC: Hey, Nikki.

LPC: You there?

LPC: Who's calling?

LPC: This is Kip.

LPC: I'm new here.

LPC: I moved in right around the corner here.

LPC: And I used my whip in the morning.

LPC: I'm going to go outside and practice.

LPC: He's using my horse whip.

LPC: I just want to make sure no one's going to be outside.

LPC: just for safety.

LPC: Oh, fuck, he hung up.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Nikki Six is not to be counted on up.

LPC: Up here.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Gallagher.

LPC: Now, I've got a new album coming out this summer, and it features Gallagher, the comedian.

LPC: I'm going to try them again right now, though, too.

LPC: Let's see how that goes.

LPC: Yes.

SPEAKER_01: Well, yes.

LPC: Well, uh.

Gallagher: Um, and nakedness is another symbol of our relationship with God.

Gallagher: And nakedness is another symbol of our relationship with God.

LPC: Hey, Gallagher.

Gallagher: Yeah?

LPC: This is Kip.

LPC: Uh, I moved in around the corner here.

LPC: I'm just new to the area and my, uh, buddy gave me your number.

LPC: I use a big old 28-foot horse whip.

LPC: And I just want to make sure you.

LPC: You're not going to be outside or anything.

LPC: I need some space out front there to use my whip.

LPC: I just want to make sure that's going to be okay with you.

LPC: I'm just looking out for you.

LPC: He hung up too.

LPC: Fuck.

LPC: Well, that's okay, too.

LPC: That is okay.

LPC: If anyone else has a number?

LPC: That'd be great.

Vivek: Yeah, okay.

Vivek: We're standing by for a number right here.

Vivek: Do you have time for one more, perhaps one more request, and then we'll call it in evening?

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: I'm going to change.

LPC: change my phone number real quick.

Vivek: Okay.

LPC: To a different phone number.

LPC: Okay, done.

LPC: Does anybody have another number for me?

Man(3): I've got one.

LPC: I won’t screw this one up.

Man(3): You better not.

Man(3): 813.

LPC: Oh, shit.

LPC: I just screwed it up.

Man(3): Oh, fuck.

LPC: What did I do?

LPC: Oh.

LPC: One.

LPC: I don't know.

LPC: I can't do it.

LPC: I fucked it up.

LPC: I'm sorry.

LPC: But it's been wonderful talking to you.

LPC: I'm sorry about that.

LPC: My thing just went south.

LPC: But Montreal.

LPC: Love you.

LPC: Thank you so much.

LPC: And thank you for being here tonight.

Vivek: Hey, thanks, LPC.

LPC: Thank you tremendously.

LPC: Thank you.

Vivek: Thank you.

SPEAKER_09: Thank you.

LPC: Thank you.

None: I don't know.