LPC: San Francisco. It may be difficult for me to hear you with the phone being stationer, but that's good.

LPC: Hopefully you can hear me.

LPC: Yes.

LPC: So we'll have a little fun tonight.

LPC: We're going to try to do this.

LPC: Make a few calls here.

LPC: And so forth.

LPC: Top of the evening to you.

Man(1): We're doing it out. Twenty-four hours. What can I do for you?

LPC: Wait, uh, hold on a second.

LPC: Now wha— what did you just say?

Man(1): Voodoo Doughnut 24 hours. What can I do for you?

LPC: A 24-hour donuts?

LPC: Okay, good.

Man(1): Yeah.

LPC: Listen, I need about 800 donuts.

LPC: Now, what's the best way to proceed?

Man(1): Well, I'm going to give my phone to my manager, and he can definitely help you out with getting that order done.

LPC: Oh, he can, can he?

Man(1): Um, I’m pretty sure. What time—? What— what’s the timeframe you’re thinking about gettin’ ‘em?

LPC: Uh, in the next 15 minutes.

Man(1): The next 15 minutes.

LPC: Correct.

LPC: I'm at the penitentiary here, and we've got a lot of inmates.

LPC: They're threatening to overtake the penitentiary.

LPC: So I'm doing everything I can.

LPC: I need about 1,800 donuts.

Man(1): Well, 15 minutes.

Man(1): What do you think here?

Man(1): Unfortunately not a good time, friend.

LPC: What do you think here?

LPC: Where do you think?

LPC: I mean, that would be a heck of a thing to do to somebody like that.

LPC: They've left the conversation.

LPC: Well, we're going to do something else now.

LPC: Go in a different direction.

LPC: Oh, sure we are.

LPC: Sure we are.

LPC: Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_05: Denson bear.

LPC: Hey, yeah.

LPC: You got men up, uh?

Man(2): We do not.

Man(2): Ladies only.

LPC: Uh, okay.

LPC: You got leather up, uh, uh, okay.

LPC: You got leather up, uh, no.

Man(2): I think you're thinking of the eagle.

LPC: The eagle.

LPC: Oh, that could be his Tudy up, uh?

Man(2): No, we’re— we’re not a— like, a themed club.

LPC: I didn't say you were.

LPC: Listen, do you want to get together an arm wrestle here?

Man(2): Yeah, we don’t have arm wrestling, either.

LPC: You don't have arm wrestling?

LPC: You got leg wrestling, right?

SPEAKER_00: Uh, uh,

Man(2): Uh… possibly. You’d have to talk to the girls.

LPC: Is there a girl there I could talk to?

LPC: No?

SPEAKER_00: No.

LPC: Do you know?

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Okay. Okay.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: That's a girl there's another club across the street, and that's where we're going.

LPC: That is where we're going, in fact.

LPC: So let's do that right here.

LPC: Hello?

LPC: Oh, yeah.

LPC: Just like that.

LPC: Hey.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: They hung up.

LPC: They did.

LPC: Uncool.

Man(3): Silverado.

LPC: Why'd you hang up?

Man(3): I can’t hear you.

LPC: Yeah, I could barely hear you.

LPC: Why'd you hang up on me just now?

Man(3): I couldn’t hear you then, either.

LPC: Why’d you hang up on me, tough guy?

LPC: Okay.

LPC: This we got that worked out.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: We're going to scoot through these here.

LPC: I hope that works with your,

LPC: decency in San Francisco. I do. I do. I do. How are we doing tonight?

LPC: How are we doing tonight?

LPC: Hey, okay, okay. Hey, okay, we're calling that number.

Marilyn: Club Center, Arkansas, Maryland. How can help you?

LPC: Do you have any dancing men up there? Is this thing on?

LPC: So loud. Jeez. Okay. We're moving right along.

LPC: Hi, yeah! Okay, listen, I need to come up there. My name’s Henry. How late are you open, first of all?

Woman(1): We close at 11 o'clock tonight.

LPC: Okay, I can hurry and be there in just a few minutes, but I need to sample everything that I need.

LPC: This is going to bring a straw up there. Kind of sample and dabble on everything I need. How's that sound?

Woman(1): We cannot.

LPC: You “cannot”? Well, how much can you accommodate—?

Woman(1): We cannot.

Woman(1): We don't do any sampling.

LPC: Oh.

LPC: Well, here, talk to my father.

LPC: Okay.

Woman(1): Okay.

LPC: Here, just a second.

SPEAKER_01: Well, um, one day by myself, I sat down in my chair, just relaxing.

SPEAKER_01: And then God said to me, you are Messiah.

SPEAKER_01: I am Messiah.

SPEAKER_01: It wasn't at my instruction or behest.

Woman(1): Hi.

LPC: Okay, did you hear what he had to say up ‘ere?

Woman(1): Yes.

LPC: And what do you see?

Woman(1): What did you need?

Woman(1): I have customers that just came in.

LPC: What are your thoughts on that, ya know?

SPEAKER_00: Well, he is the Messiah.

SPEAKER_01: He is, to me, he is Christ return in spirit.

LPC: Hey, I only want to dabble in what a need.

LPC: I only want to sample what it is that a need.

LPC: So we're going to go to your competitor.

SPEAKER_01: It is a defining moment.

LPC: Well, yes, it is.

SPEAKER_01: It is a defining moment and God's people are going to be invocated.

LPC: Hey, how ya doin’?

Man(4): Good, good.

LPC: I love the deal.

LPC: Listen, I'm going to bring my straw up there.

LPC: It's flexible.

LPC: I'm just going to go to shop around and see what I need.

LPC: See what I like.

LPC: See what strikes my fancy.

LPC: Does that sound good?

Man(4): Sure.

LPC: To sample things dabble around.

LPC: Sample everything I need.

LPC: Whatever just floats my boat.

LPC: Does that work for you guys?

LPC: Is that but Aloha tonight?

None: Sure.

LPC: Okay, I can give you four or five dollars, just to, you know, crack things open here, crack things open there.

LPC: Sample everything I need.

LPC: What's the flavor?

Man(4): That probably wouldn’t go over very well, but… ya know.

LPC: Oh, it wouldn't, huh?

LPC: Why do you say that?

Man(4): No, sir.

Man(4): You can't open bottles in the store, much less steel alcohol, so.

LPC: Well, I'll keep it real covert.

LPC: I'm not going to draw a bunch of attention to myself.

Man(4): Oh, that's okay.

Man(4): We got great cameras.

Man(4): We didn't track you down.

LPC: I didn’t wanna tell ya this but I already took a few sips here and there when I was walkin’ through the aisles earlier.

LPC: Hey, I'm an honest man.

LPC: I'm an honest man, 100%.

LPC: Got off work.

LPC: I couldn't decide, you know.

LPC: I'm an honest man.

LPC: I took a few sips here and there.

LPC: Alright?

Man(4): Well, then we will look into that for you.

LPC: Oh, yeah?

Man(4): We'll check the videos.

Man(4): Yeah, yeah.

LPC: On video, huh?

Man(4): Yeah.

Man(4): You got great.

Man(4): cameras here. I'm sorry we have customers here.

LPC: I didn't want to tell you this, but I made a few recordings of my own, though, when I was up there earlier.

LPC: Didn't like what I heard. Did not like the sound that I was hearing up there.

Man(4): Okay. Would you like to contact the owner?

LPC: What do I need to talk to the owner for?

Man(4): Oh, well, if you said you didn’t like what you heard…

LPC: Listen, I'm willing to let it go. I'm just going to come up and dabble in some different flavors and sample what I need.

LPC: All right? It's not going to be a big deal.

Man(4): That sounds wonderful.

Man(4): Yeah, yeah, do that, do that. And we will take care of that for you.

LPC: Are you threatening you? 14 and 36.

Man(4): No.

Man(4): No, sir, I'm not threatening you at all.

LPC: Look, all I’m trying to do is wet m’whistle here tonight. I don’t know what I want. I might want schnapps, I might not. Ya know, when I get up there—

LPC: I want to get up here. Maybe want a hip hugger. I may not. You know, I'm not.

Man(4): Alright. Well have a great evening and I’ll see you soon!

LPC: I’ll be up there. I’m just gonna, ya know, take a few gulps here ’n there—

Man(4): All right. We got cameras.

Man(4): Have a great night.

LPC: I will let ya know what I decide!

LPC: Okay, folks.

LPC: So the moral of that story is don't go open around.

LPC: Help it.

LPC: Aloha liquor.

LPC: Or if you do, he's going to videotape.

LPC: Yes.

LPC: Okay, we've got another line ring in here.

Man(1): I know that people think we're going to commit suicide, but I can't comprehend.

LPC: Hey, yeah.

LPC: Listen, guy, like I said, I'm just really thirsty tonight, and I need a variety of flavors and taste.

LPC: And I'm on my way up.

LPC: I'm just going to let you know right up here.

LPC: Right up front, all right?

Man(5): Hello?

LPC: Yeah, h—how late y’all open tonight?

Man(5): Uh, 10:55 every night of the week.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Listen, I'm looking for something.

LPC: I don't know what it is, what I'm in the mood for.

LPC: I'm just going to come up and dabble and sample some different things, bring my straw.

LPC: Does that sound all right with you guys up, bar?

Man(5): You can look at anything, yeah.

Man(5): We can't have any open containers in here, though.

Man(5): And it's not like we don't really sample.

LPC: No, I need to go ahead and crack open just a few things.

LPC: I'm not going to make a big scene or draw attention to myself, but, yeah, I'm going to crack a few

LPC: things open here tonight, pour a few things back, see what direction I want to go in, all right?

LPC: And you're open for another hour, right?

LPC: Yeah, that should be enough time.

LPC: Take a few steps here, a few tips there.

LPC: Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes.

LPC: Okay, good.

LPC: Good deal.

LPC: That guy is gone, and that's okay.

LPC: Let's see.

LPC: We've got another couple things.

LPC: things here in store for you. Let's see if we can get some more action on the phone. San Francisco.

LPC: So happy to be with you tonight. Thank you for hanging in there.

SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01: We are naked and unashamed.

LPC: I hope you can hear me.

LPC: I am the embodiment of God. I am divinity and humanity combined.

LPC: Well, and here we go.

LPC: Clubs and Robs is Maryland. How to help you?

LPC: Hey, yeah. I want to bring a party of six up there.

None: Okay.

LPC: I can barely hear ya. Hello?

Marilyn: I'm here. Well, it's a club, sweetie.

LPC: Oh, good.

Marilyn: Yeah, the music’s loud. Uh…

Marilyn: We’re open. You can come in.

LPC: [delay] Yeah, is Sasha up there?

Marilyn: What’s that?

LPC: [delay] Is Sasha dancin’ up there?

Marilyn: Uh, Asasha? I don't know a Sasha.

Marilyn: Your phone's like echoing, too.

LPC: What's that?

Marilyn: What's that? Your phone's echoing?

LPC: No, I'm going to pay phone here.

Marilyn: Okay, I’m just saying your phone’s echoing. We don’t have a Sasha— dancer by that name unless she goes by a different name.

LPC: Yeahyeahyeahyeah—

Marilyn: We have, like, 20 dancers.

LPC: You're, like, repeating and different stuff on your... I'm not sure why that is, but...

LPC: How many dances you got up there?

Marilyn: I said we have about 20.

LPC: Uh-huh.

LPC: Oh, wow.

LPC: How many girls are dancing right now?

Marilyn: Sweetheart, I'm bartending.

Marilyn: So if you wanted to come in, we're open, we have girls, okay?

LPC: Oh, you do?

LPC: Oh, you do? How late are you open?—

Marilyn: Okay.

Marilyn: We're open until 2.30.

LPC: And did you say Dixie’s spinnin’ around up ‘ere?

Marilyn: You're literally, everything you're saying is echoing.

Marilyn: I don't even understand what you're saying.

Marilyn: So we're open if you want to come.

Marilyn: You're more than welcome to come.

Marilyn: We have a whole bunch of girls here to do dances, okay?

Marilyn: Have a great night.

LPC: You're like repeating and shouting right now.

LPC: I can't really tell what you're doing, but...

LPC: Uh, that's just how you are, I guess.

LPC: Hey, uh, what's going on?

LPC: Harry?

Harry: Who is it?

LPC: Harry.

Harry: Yeah.

LPC: Hey, this is, uh, this is Seth.

LPC: I'm your new neighbor.

LPC: I just moved in around the bend here.

Harry: What are you talkin’ about?

LPC: Yeah, and I've noticed you were outside, uh, a lot the past few days.

LPC: And, uh, I just want to make sure you're going to be inside in the morning.

LPC: I use a big horse whip.

LPC: I'm going to be out there practicing.

LPC: I just don't need any, you know, reliability, responsibility.

Harry: Yeah, knock yourself up.

Harry: You know, that's great.

LPC: Yeah, so just stay outta the way and just stay indoors, if that’s okay.

Harry: Okay.

LPC: You got a problem with that, or?

SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's good.

LPC: Huh?

LPC: Oh, on speaker, I said it.

LPC: What's that?

LPC: Are you going to...

LPC: Because, you know, I got a 28-foot horse whip.

LPC: I got spinning around, guy.

LPC: Okay.

SPEAKER_05: Okay.

Harry: Okay, thanks, man.

Harry: Thanks for giving me a head of time.

LPC: I'm giving.

LPC: giving you heads up.

LPC: It's going to be about 4 a.m.

LPC: till about 9 a.m.

LPC: Looks like a doggone propeller flying through the arrow,

LPC: but I want to get that thing, spinning around.

MC: Alright. LPC, I think we gotta wrap it up.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Thank you so much.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

LPC: Thanks so much for your time, San Francisco.