MC(1): Hey

SPEAKER_07: Hello

MC(1): We have a new number!

MC(1): We're at Toronto

MC(1): All right

MC(1): We're here in Toronto

MC(1): And we're here with Randy

MC(1): And friends

LPC: All right

LPC: Thank you Randy and friends

LPC: For being here

LPC: Thank you so much

LPC: I sure do appreciate your time! Aw, yeah!

LPC: Oh yeah

LPC: Alright Toronto

SPEAKER_09: Listen

MC(1): How's it going, man

SPEAKER_09: You know

SPEAKER_09: It wasn't too long

SPEAKER_09: We was here

SPEAKER_09: And I'll tell you every time we come here

MC(1): What's your favorite food?

SPEAKER_09: Better and better

LPC: Oh

LPC: Musley

LPC: How about Musley?

LPC: Can you?

LPC: You guys dig that or

MC(1): And what's your favorite color, man?

LPC: Orange?

LPC: I'd say orange

LPC: Yeah, probably orange

LPC: I swear it

LPC: Yeah

LPC: What's your favorite color up?

LPC: Bar

MC(1): What's your favorite color of?

MC(2): Green?

MC(1): Green, everybody is all about the green

MC(1): We will, I mean

MC(1): we do have

MC(1): that common with Colorado.

LPC: Dynamite.

LPC: Thank y'all for being here.

LPC: Ken?

LPC: And do appreciate you.

LPC: Oh, all right.

LPC: You can have a little fun tonight?

SPEAKER_14: Yes.

LPC: Yes.

LPC: Glad to be here.

MC(2): You getting some nipples tonight on the horn?

LPC: Yeah, we're going to call some numbers.

LPC: Sure thing.

LPC: Oh.

MC(1): If anyone has any questions for Longmont, don't be shy.

MC(1): We have numbers.

MC(1): We want to know.

MC(1): You have a question?

MC(1): Yes.

MC(1): We've covered the food.

MC(1): Sorry.

MC(1): Yeah.

Woman(1): All right.

Woman(1): So, Longmont, Potion,

Woman(1): my question for you is that

Woman(1): in the adult swim off the air

Woman(1): segments that you're called

Woman(1): an appearance on.

Woman(1): There's this illustration of a cat

Woman(1): with the face of a man

Woman(1): and you wear a sunglasses.

LPC: Oh, yeah.

LPC: Yeah, that's a good observation.

LPC: I've seen that.

LPC: I know that you're talking about.

LPC: Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

LPC: I don't know where it came from, what the origin of that is.

LPC: There's a new one coming out, uh, this month.

LPC: It's about fashion.

LPC: It's an off-year.

LPC: Fashion, it's a brand new one, and they're going to have me in there.

LPC: Well, it'll be about the pleaded looks and so on.

LPC: Yes.

Woman(1): That cat basement is still going to be there.

Woman(1): The reason I bring this up is the other day, it was going to

Woman(1): and it's a lot, and I saw in the back of this club, and I saw in the back of this club.

Woman(1): right behind the bar, we paced it to the wall, that same man, the sunglasses, and cat ears.

Woman(1): And I asked the bartender about it, and they said they didn't know.

Woman(1): And it was the most mysterious brother with all the entire way.

Woman(1): That is a lot.

Woman(1): No?

LPC: That is far outsky!

Woman(1): To keep an eye at there, man, it's a danger, I think.

Woman(1): Thank you.

None: Well, thank you.

LPC: Well, thank you.

LPC: It's a good question.

LPC: Very mysterious, very oblique.

LPC: Nebulous.

Arthur: Hello.

LPC: Hey, Arthur.

Arthur: Hello.

LPC: Hey.

Arthur: Yeah.

LPC: This is Tim.

LPC: What are you doing up there?

Arthur: Tim who?

LPC: Tim Phillips.

LPC: Listen, I'm new to the area.

LPC: I was wondering, can I tap into your septic tank a little bit later?

LPC: I got some structural issues here at home.

LPC: I got my own hose and everything.

Arthur: So why do you tap into you?

Arthur: Come.

LPC: Hey, it won't take long.

LPC: It'll just be for a few minutes, and I'll take care of everything.

LPC: Just tap right into your tank.

LPC: Is that okay with you up there?

Arthur: Can you tap into your mother?

LPC: Listen, guy, and I don't want you mess with my hose.

LPC: I'll find out about it if you mess with my hose, okay?

LPC: Just to be clear.

Arthur: Mess with your hoes?

LPC: Yeah.

Arthur: You mean your mother and your wife are hoes? [laughs]

LPC: Listen, guy, I need your tank.

LPC: That's all.

LPC: I need.

Arthur: Oh, my God.

Arthur: Don't you have a wife?

LPC: A wife?

LPC: You just insulted her, tough guy, and I'm going to pay you back.

LPC: Okay, sorry, everybody.

MC(1): Thank you.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Thank you and thank me, and I thank everybody.

LPC: It's a pleasant night.

LPC: Stars are shining bright.

MC(1): All right, so we got some questions.

None: and at what point of your ender?

SPEAKER_03: Why I was doing on how did you decide to want to be completion on?

MC(1): An anonymity.

MC(1): What made you decide to be anonymous and how do you feel about it?

LPC: I was about 16 going on 17 when I started recording, you know,

LPC: and I was sitting there in my bedroom at home,

LPC: and I was putting the cassette cover together sitting there and I thought,

LPC: what am I going to do with this?

LPC: And at the last second, before I went and made the copies,

LPC: I put various artists compilation on there.

LPC: Just to be easier on myself, I didn't want to answer a bunch of questions about it,

LPC: so I put various artists, and that saved me until maybe the next album,

LPC: Volume 2, I put various artists on there again, and people started to be like,

LPC: what do you mean, various artists?

LPC: You know, and I cut my own voice out a lot, too, you might remember, just because of that.

LPC: I had myself in there somewhat, but a lot of times I did it.

LPC: And then by number three, volume three, why I just stopped doing that,

LPC: and I started to kind of own up to it, if you will.

LPC: So it was a lie, is what it was, you know?

LPC: —Thank you for asking, ya know?

LPC: I do what I can. Do what I can. Do what I can. Do what I can.

SPEAKER_02: Number?

LPC: Sure.

SPEAKER_02: Just a cue for me.

Joe: Hello.

LPC: Hi.

LPC: Hey, this is, this is Brian.

LPC: Hey, this is Brian.

LPC: Hey, this is Brian. How are you doing?

Joe: Okay.

Joe: Why are you calling me?

LPC: I'm calling you because I got some structural issues here at my house.

LPC: I need to tap into your septic tank for a little bit here tonight.

LPC: Would that be okay?

LPC: I got my own hose and everything.

Joe: Wait a minute.

Joe: Who are you trying?

Joe: I still don't know.

Joe: Where, who are you calling me from?

LPC: I'm calling you.

LPC: I'm local.

LPC: and I need your help there, big guy.

Joe: What can it help?

Joe: What are you talking about?

LPC: I need to set my hose into your septic tank.

LPC: I got problems here at home.

LPC: Big problems here on my structural issues here.

Joe: Where do you live?

LPC: I live near you.

LPC: So I'm going to bring my hose over and we're going to set it up.

LPC: Does that sound good?

Joe: Of course not.

Joe: It's trouble for me.

Joe: What are you talking about?

Joe: And I still don't know who the hell you are.

LPC: Why is this such a big deal?

LPC: I'm going to do it.

LPC: It'll be fine.

Joe: Who are you?

LPC: My name’s Bryan—

LPC: —You can call me Bry-Bry, okay?

Joe: Yeah, but the first of your lives.

LPC: I'm going to come over there, and I'm going to get what I need.

Joe: You're not going to get the need because I'm going to call the police on you right now.

LPC: No, don't do that.

LPC: Don't do that.

Joe: Don't go to me like that.

Joe: Okay?

Joe: You don't get the horse.

Joe: I'm Jewish and Arkansas.

Joe: It's sobbed for me.

Joe: And I won't give it to you any other time.

Joe: I got no business with you.

LPC: Don't mess with my hose, because I'll find out about it if you do.

LPC: Just don't get them away.

LPC: Okay, you guys.

LPC: Sorry about that.

MC(1): No, thank you!

LPC: It's got some plumbing to deal with here.

LPC: I'm kind of multitasking, if you haven't noticed.

MC(1): Is that Joe from local mode?

LPC: That was.

LPC: Very good, very good.

None: All right, Toronto.

MC(2): Uh, we got another number, uh…

LPC: We've got another number dial in here.

Joe: Hello?

LPC: Hey, Joe.

LPC: I got my hose ready, and I'm just on my way right now.

LPC: I'm walking over there right now, okay?

Joe: You try and come here and you’ll see what’s gonna happen to you.

LPC: Well, I'm just going to...

Joe: Your motherfucker.

Joe: Stop it!

Joe: Your motherfucker, criminal!

LPC: I’ll be right over.

LPC: Don't you worry about a thing.

MC(1): You have a question.

Man(3): Yeah, is there any tricks or tip you can offer new customer service agents to sort of summon the patients on the horn there?

LPC: I've done a lot of customer service in my time.

LPC: I mean, that's kind of why I do the UPS thing with people, because it's plausible.

LPC: It has a grain of plausibility, even when you're trying to deliver goofy loaf or whatever the case may be.

LPC: You know, people will hang in, and I get to buy you some time, is what it does.

LPC: some time.

LPC: You know what I mean?

Man(3): Yeah, it's kind of like you're running out the clock on both ends, you know?

Man(3): Running out your ship.

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: So that's something that helps.

LPC: And, yeah, obviously not cursing at them.

LPC: At least not right off the bat.

SPEAKER_14: And having sex was God's instructions.

SPEAKER_14: It wasn't at my instruction.

LPC: So, you know, those are some tips, this is a little bit, a little something, little tidbit of

LPC: bar.

Man(3): I appreciate it.

LPC: Hey, man.

LPC: Thank you.

SPEAKER_03: We got a number, 634-0-726.

MC(1): This is Will.

LPC: Okay, it's ringing.

LPC: Will, great, okay.

Will: Well, he is the Messiah.

Will: He is, to me, he is Christ.

Will: Hello?

LPC: Hey, Will.

Will: Hey, what’s up?

LPC: Hey, not too much.

LPC: This is Bo.

Will: Who?

LPC: Bo.

LPC: I'm new to the area.

Will: What's up, Longmont Pushing, Cass.

LPC: Who's that?

SPEAKER_11: What did you say, O'Poy?

SPEAKER_11: What are you saying, Alpa?

SPEAKER_11: No, I'm, I'm Bo.

SPEAKER_11: Bobo.

SPEAKER_11: I'm Bobo.

SPEAKER_11: Bobo.

SPEAKER_11: Yeah, I'm Bobo.

SPEAKER_11: Bobo.

SPEAKER_11: I'm Bobo, Bobo, Bobo.

SPEAKER_11: And I need to get with you a bunch of your hose.

LPC: I want to bar your hose.

SPEAKER_07: Is I could?

LPC: Would that work, or?

LPC: I got to let you go.

LPC: I do.

LPC: I just do.

LPC: So that guy knew something.

LPC: that was up right off the bat.

LPC: Maybe I should have gone into the UPS, huh?

LPC: Followed my own advice up there.

LPC: You know what I'm saying?

MC(1): Let's try the singer of fucked up.

MC(1): Okay, it's a six, Canadian.

SPEAKER_04: Six, four, seven.

LPC: Hey, Bill?

Bill: Yeah.

LPC: Hey, this is Bo.

LPC: I'm new to the area up here.

Bill: Okay, well, yeah.

LPC: I'm just catty cornered to you.

LPC: Listen, I need to favor.

LPC: I wanted just to tap into your septic tank here tonight.

LPC: I got some structural issues here at home.

LPC: Just for a few.

LPC: minutes. I got my own hose and everything, okay?

Bill: I don't know what you're talking about.

LPC: What do you need? What do you need me to do, bring you a ladder?

Bill: —I don’t have a septic tank! I don’t have anything like that!

LPC: Of course you do. Of course you do. I already went over there and looked at it.

LPC: You know, I hope you don't mind, but I was there earlier today, okay?

Bill: I don’t have a septic tank.

LPC: Oh, you sure do. I saw it, and I'm going to be right there, and I'm going to hose it up.

LPC: I just want to make sure, you know, that you don't be surprised when I get there, okay?

LPC: Call the who, now?

Bill: Police! ‘Cause I don’t know what you—why you’d be on my property.

LPC: Because I told you I need to set my hose up.

LPC: Now look, just stay out of my way, okay? I don't need the police and I don't need you nosing around, okay?

LPC: Just keep out of my affairs.

Bill: Well, keep outta my o—my house! My property.

LPC: As long as you stay outta my way, we should be in good shape.

Bill: Well lemme get your name and everything. Go on, now—

LPC: —Yeah, okay, I’m Bobo.

LPC: You got me?

SPEAKER_14: Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_14: I swear it.

LPC: Hey, Bill.

LPC: I swear it.

LPC: Bill. Hey, Bill, what the frick you're doing all, Bob.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Later.

LPC: Okay, you said something about a number up there, didn't you?

MC(1): Yeah, all right, let's try the number.

SPEAKER_02: 622-0593.

Woman(2): Hello?

LPC: Hello?

Woman(2): Hi.

LPC: Hi, how are you?

Woman(2): Who the fuck is this?

LPC: This is Bull.

Woman(2): Hello?

LPC: This is Bull.

LPC: Can you hear me?

Woman(2): I can, yeah.

LPC: Okay, good.

LPC: Listen, I'm on my way over there.

LPC: I'm kind of new to the area.

LPC: I got your number at the supermarket.

LPC: Okay, I just need to tap into your septic tank tonight for a little bit, all right?

LPC: I got my own hose.

Woman(2): You on my lawn.

None: Miss.

LPC: Hey, you're cutting out, but I'll be there in just about

LPC: 10 minutes.

LPC: I got some problems with my foundation.

LPC: So I'm just going to tap into you guys for a bit.

LPC: Okay.

Woman(2): Okay.

Woman(2): I'm going to be out on my lawn.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: And just do me a favor.

LPC: Don't mess with my hose, all right?

LPC: I'll find out about it if you do.

LPC: Okay.

Woman(2): Do you your hose?

Woman(2): I'm going to mess so hard.

Woman(2): I pose right up.

LPC: I can't even hear you, lady.

LPC: You're cutting in and out.

LPC: Why don't you speak clearly?

Woman(2): I'm going to last.

Woman(2): you with that hose right up here.

LPC: Oh, you are, are you?

LPC: I'm going to doce you go right on up there and get with you a little bit.

LPC: Mix things up a little bit.

LPC: How's that grab you?

LPC: Listen, you got a terrible reception.

LPC: I'm going to let you go, but I'll be there with my hose and just stay out of my affairs.

LPC: It'll be much easier, okay?

Woman(2): I'm a full-stack web developer now, and I just graduated from my coding boot camp.

Woman(2): I'm at the graduation party, and I don't have time for these kind of shenanigans.

Woman(2): If you show up on my lawn with your hose, I'm going to send 20 boot camp graduates after you,

Woman(2): and they're going to code your app so hard, you're never going to walk again.

LPC: Oh, don't do that.

LPC: Don't do that.

LPC: Leave me be.

LPC: All right, young lady?

LPC: Just leave me be.

Woman(2): Sir, listen.

Woman(2): Right, making my...

Arthur: Hello, hello, can you hold on right now?

Arthur: Your mother's being strapped to the donkey.

Arthur: She's getting fucked.

Arthur: Hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_14: Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_14: Well, um...

SPEAKER_14: One day by myself, I sat down in my chair, just relaxing.

SPEAKER_14: And then God sat down in my chair, just relaxing.

SPEAKER_14: And then God sat to me.

SPEAKER_14: you are Messiah.

SPEAKER_14: It just occurred.

SPEAKER_14: I swear it by the one who lives forever and ever.

SPEAKER_14: I stood up and suddenly I was forced down on the floor,

SPEAKER_14: and all I could do was grown.

SPEAKER_14: And I started seeing that I was going to have to have sex.

SPEAKER_14: And having sex was with God's instructions.

SPEAKER_14: Do what God tells you.

LPC: Okay, bye-bye.

LPC: Okay, so we let her go.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Thank you very much, Royal Theater.

LPC: That was funny.

LPC: She had a terrible connection, but it was pretty good.

LPC: Thank you for that one.

LPC: Yeah.

LPC: Is she a cheerleader or something?

LPC: I don't know.

MC(2): Final number.

MC(2): 495.

SPEAKER_03: 1325.

LPC: 1325.

MC(2): 95.

SPEAKER_03: Okay.

LPC: 1395?

MC(2): Yeah.

LPC: Oh.

LPC: Well, I dialed the wrong number then.

Man(5): Hello?

LPC: Hello?

Man(5): Yes.

LPC: Hi, this is Bo.

LPC: How are you doing?

Man(5): Good.

LPC: Yeah, good.

LPC: Hey, I got your number up at the supermarket.

LPC: I hope that's okay.

LPC: I'm new to the area here.

Man(5): Supermarket.

SPEAKER_04: Yes.

LPC: At the A&P.

LPC: And, hey, guy, I just need to tap into your septic tank tonight.

LPC: I got some structural issues here at home, okay?

LPC: It'll just be for a couple hours.

LPC: I got my own hose and everything like that.

LPC: So if you see me out in front, I just wanted to let you know what I'll be doing, okay?

Man(5): Alright, sounds good!

LPC: Okay.

LPC: And I’ll tap in and— Just, listen, don’t touch the hose while it’s workin, okay?

Man(5): Mm-hmm.

Man(5): I got it.

LPC: Okay, because I'll find out about it if you do.

LPC: So, might as well just leave it.

LPC: I know. I know. I know. I know you know. Okay.

LPC: Hey, and can you maybe make me some toast?

LPC: Maybe bring that out front? I'm a little hungry.

LPC: Would that be okay?

Man(5): I will get you the tuna sandwich.

LPC: A tuna sandwich?

LPC: A tuna sandwich? Dynamite.

Man(5): Yeah.

LPC: Okay, touch yourself.

LPC: See you later.

SPEAKER_01: Oh, see.

LPC: Well, he was a cooperative sort.

LPC: Royal Theater.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Bless you.

LPC: You guys rule.

LPC: Have a fantastic night.

LPC: A lot of fun.

Will: Have a lot of fun.

LPC: Have a fantastic night.

SPEAKER_07: Have a lot of fun.

LPC: Have a lot of fun.

LPC: Have a fantastic.

LPC: Have a fantasma.

LPC: Thank you.

LPC: Have a phantasm.

LPC: Thank you.

SPEAKER_10: Have a fantastic.

SPEAKER_10: Thank you.

SPEAKER_10: Have a fantastic.

SPEAKER_10: Thank you.

SPEAKER_10: you. Have a fan town. Thank you. Have a fan house. Take you. Have a fan house. Thank you. Good night.