SPEAKER_04: Hello, this is Dave.

SPEAKER_02: Hi, sir. This is Cincinnati Waterworks calling.

SPEAKER_02: We're going to be boosting up your water pressure for the next five days.

SPEAKER_02: Just a courtesy call, okay?

SPEAKER_07: Okay.

SPEAKER_02: So we need you not to be too quick on the draw with your water faucets over the next five days.

SPEAKER_02: Just remember to use small movements, and you should be fine.

SPEAKER_02: When you do turn the faucet up all the way, it's akin to more of a fire hydrant type of.

SPEAKER_02: pressure. So just remember that small movement rule. Okay.

SPEAKER_07: Okay. All right. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02: We want to ensure that people's fixtures, whether old or new, can handle the brute force.

SPEAKER_02: So we'll be testing. I got you. Yeah. If you don't wish to participate, it's just a one-time

SPEAKER_02: charge of $179. You're such a fucking scam. What a piece of shit you are.

SPEAKER_02: I beg your pardon. Have a terrible day. Say that again?

SPEAKER_02: If you don't wish to participate, it's a one-time fee of $17,000.

SPEAKER_00: Oh, we don't have that kind of money.

SPEAKER_02: Okay, so you want to go ahead and get it cranked up then?

SPEAKER_04: Well, I guess what choice do we have?

SPEAKER_03: Quit calling my phone. Why are you calling my phone?

SPEAKER_02: Because I'm from Cincinnati Waterworks.

SPEAKER_03: I don't give a fuck. I don't even pay water, so you couldn't be calling me about Cincinnati Waterworks.

SPEAKER_04: What water pressure?

SPEAKER_02: Just remember to use small movements, and you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_04: What property?

SPEAKER_02: Everybody in question.

SPEAKER_02: Quadrant 5 has this going on in the next five days.

SPEAKER_04: I don't know what a quadrant 5 is.

SPEAKER_04: I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_04: Send me a letter in writing and otherwise don't call my number again.

SPEAKER_02: We've sent you three postcards in the mail.

SPEAKER_04: I think I said send it in writing.

SPEAKER_04: That's a cease and desist.

SPEAKER_04: Do you know what that means?

SPEAKER_02: We sent you three postcards about this.

SPEAKER_04: Okay.

SPEAKER_04: Then send it in writing to the address to the email address on file from Cincinnati Waterworks.

SPEAKER_04: How about you do that?

SPEAKER_02: Man, your sink's going to be like a fire hydrant.

SPEAKER_02: Do you understand?

SPEAKER_04: Yep, that's fine.

SPEAKER_04: My problem, not yours.

SPEAKER_02: It's going to knock you over.

SPEAKER_04: Well, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04: I don't know now.

SPEAKER_04: I'll live here.

SPEAKER_02: You just live there?

SPEAKER_02: Okay.

SPEAKER_02: Well, you just need to remember to use small movements.

SPEAKER_02: Because if not, remember what happens?

SPEAKER_06: You know, you come out like a fire hydrant.

SPEAKER_02: That's correct.

SPEAKER_02: And what could that mean for you?

SPEAKER_02: Oh, you get knocked the heck over is what it means, right?

SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I guess so.

SPEAKER_02: I guess so.

SPEAKER_02: It's right.

SPEAKER_02: Okay.

SPEAKER_02: All right.

SPEAKER_02: Have a great one.

SPEAKER_07: Are you sure you got the right address?

SPEAKER_02: Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_07: What is it?

SPEAKER_02: I got 10,0002 Benham Avenue.

SPEAKER_07: Oh, you got the wrong number.

SPEAKER_02: Oh, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02: No, I got it right here.

SPEAKER_02: It's 3605 Denison now.

SPEAKER_06: Yes, of course.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_02: Like I said the wrong thing, but I meant the right thing.

SPEAKER_02: Now, you'd be careful now with the water pressure.

SPEAKER_07: I don't have no control over it.

SPEAKER_07: Everything's, everything in the house.

SPEAKER_07: Shut up, previous rooms.

SPEAKER_07: These rooms, and...

SPEAKER_02: What's that?

SPEAKER_06: But he...

SPEAKER_02: Hey, Phil, I can't hear you too good now.

SPEAKER_06: My dad worked for the water department.

SPEAKER_06: We've been in the water for 80 years.

SPEAKER_01: Oh.

SPEAKER_01: Oh, to be careful, don't use the faucet all the way.

SPEAKER_02: Yes, otherwise it'll be like a fire hydrant.

SPEAKER_02: It'll knock you over.

SPEAKER_01: fire and knock you over.

SPEAKER_01: But how are going to be the fire from the faucet?

SPEAKER_02: If you turn the hot water up all the way, fire will come out.

SPEAKER_01: Oh, my God.

SPEAKER_01: What is that?

SPEAKER_02: It's testing.

SPEAKER_01: But when you use the water, it has to be slow?

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_01: And not too much hot water?

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_02: Can you explain to your kids?

SPEAKER_02: it's what happens, like I told you?

SPEAKER_01: Okay.

SPEAKER_01: We can use the faucet open all the way.

SPEAKER_01: We have to use the faucet.

SPEAKER_01: Open, slow, not all away.

SPEAKER_01: And the water have to be warm, not hot.

SPEAKER_01: We can use hot water.

SPEAKER_01: If you open the faucet too fast, knock you over.

SPEAKER_04: Really?

SPEAKER_01: Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: And if you use too much hot water, shoot the fire.

SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fire.

SPEAKER_01: Like a dragon?

SPEAKER_02: Yes, correct.

SPEAKER_02: So just remember what I told you.

SPEAKER_01: Just go slow.

SPEAKER_01: I'm right?

SPEAKER_02: You're right.

SPEAKER_02: So that's real good.

SPEAKER_02: Great job today.

SPEAKER_01: Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_02: Okay, thank you, Mary.

SPEAKER_02: Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_02: Boosting the water pressure?

SPEAKER_02: Yes.

SPEAKER_02: If you don't want to participate, it's a one-time fee of $199.

SPEAKER_06: Okay, I'll pay that fee.

SPEAKER_02: You will?

SPEAKER_02: Okay.

SPEAKER_02: send Jethro out to your place here in an hour and he can pick up cash or check from you.

SPEAKER_07: Cash or check?

SPEAKER_02: Yeah, $199.

SPEAKER_02: All right.

SPEAKER_02: He's going to suck this thing, too?

SPEAKER_02: Who's that?

SPEAKER_02: Jepra.

SPEAKER_02: Jethro Button is his name.

SPEAKER_02: He'll come get the cash from you.

SPEAKER_02: I say he's going to suck this dick, too.

SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, can you be professional, please, sir?

SPEAKER_02: I'm not doing the test.

SPEAKER_02: I'm not paying the fee.

SPEAKER_02: You're not doing either one.

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: Well, then we're just going to conduct.

SPEAKER_02: the testing. And if you turn the hot water up without cold water, what happens?

SPEAKER_02: Oh, and the fire goes shoot out, bro. All right. Bye, man. I'm at work, man. Don't call me back,

SPEAKER_02: right? And also, if you turn up the hot water alone with no cold water blended in, it'll shoot

SPEAKER_02: fire out. Fire? Why? If you don't want to participate, it's a one-time fee of $199.

SPEAKER_02: Oh, I don't want to participate. Okay, then it's $199. We'll send Jethro out to pick up a

SPEAKER_02: check today, okay?

SPEAKER_03: Jeffill better not come to my house to pick up nothing.

SPEAKER_03: Why is that?

SPEAKER_03: Because I'm not going to pay Jessville not to participate in a water program.

SPEAKER_02: Well, we can give you a couple extra hours if you want to go to a hotel or something.

SPEAKER_05: Fuck off.

SPEAKER_05: Hello?

SPEAKER_02: Hello, it's the Cleveland Water Department calling.

SPEAKER_05: Oh, I bet it is.

SPEAKER_02: We're going to be testing your water pipes for the next 24 hours, and a fire is going to come out of the

SPEAKER_02: hot water faucet.

SPEAKER_05: it. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard of my entire life.

SPEAKER_02: Okay, so if you don't want to participate in the testing, it's $149.

SPEAKER_05: No, you're not charging me $149.

SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, we are.

SPEAKER_05: So there to be a fire coming out of my pipe.

SPEAKER_02: Oh, we're going to send Jeth Rowe over and pick up a check.

SPEAKER_05: Who do you want to speak to?

SPEAKER_02: The resident of the house.

SPEAKER_07: No, no, no, man. What's the whip to them in the bill?

SPEAKER_02: We're turning up your water pressure for three days.

SPEAKER_02: Who are you?

SPEAKER_02: Fabian Wawa.

SPEAKER_02: That's my name.

SPEAKER_02: I'm with Cleveland Water Department.

SPEAKER_07: I don't you speak to.

SPEAKER_02: The person who lives there.

SPEAKER_02: That's you.

SPEAKER_02: That's why I'm calling you, isn't it?

SPEAKER_07: Who lives there?

SPEAKER_07: Who lives there? Who name on the bill?

SPEAKER_02: Listen to me.

SPEAKER_02: You got to be slow when you turn up the faucet.

SPEAKER_02: If you turn it up too fast, it's going to be like a fire hose, knock you over.

SPEAKER_07: Who are you calling?

SPEAKER_02: I'm calling you.

SPEAKER_07: I don't live here.

SPEAKER_07: Who you speak to?

SPEAKER_02: Fabian Wawa, brother.

SPEAKER_02: Come on.

SPEAKER_07: Oh, my dick, dig.

SPEAKER_02: Hey, I'm Ken Baboonian with the water department here.

SPEAKER_02: Okay?

SPEAKER_00: This sounds like the most retarded call I've ever gotten.

SPEAKER_00: You can fuck yourself on me writing you a check for not having flames coming out of my hot water line.

SPEAKER_02: Okay, this isn't a game.

SPEAKER_00: What kind of drugs do you think I'm on?

SPEAKER_00: I don't know who the fuck would pay you for that.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah, have Jeffers show up here.

SPEAKER_00: But I'm not giving you any fucking money.

SPEAKER_02: Well, it's one or the other, like I said.

SPEAKER_00: I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_00: It's neither.

SPEAKER_00: I don't even think you know who the,

SPEAKER_00: the fuck you're talking to.

SPEAKER_00: So fire is going to come out of the hot water.

SPEAKER_00: They're testing the pipes.

SPEAKER_00: You realize that the fucking water goes into a hot water tank, right?

SPEAKER_02: We're overriding the water heater.

SPEAKER_00: You're overriding the water heater?

SPEAKER_02: Correct.

SPEAKER_00: How the fuck do you do that?

SPEAKER_02: Well, sir, that's our technician's job.

SPEAKER_02: That's above me.

SPEAKER_00: The technician's job?

SPEAKER_02: Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: For 72 hours, someone's going to come around and replumb all the water lines in my quadrant.

SPEAKER_02: Unless you pay the two.

SPEAKER_02: 249. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: Yeah. All right. We'll wait for him to come here and reroute it. Yep.

SPEAKER_00: Thanks for your time.