Album: Best Before '24

Year: 2024

Track: Perma-Tease

• Woman 1:
  
• LPC: Hi, yes.
  
• LPC: I was interested in getting a hairpiece.
  
• Woman 1: Yes, ma'am.
  
• LPC: Do I need to wear a wig liner, like a cap underneath that you can hook the wig to, or can it go right onto my head?
  
• LPC: Oh, I do.
  
• LPC: Oh, I do.
  
• LPC: Oh, I do.
  
• LPC: Oh, I do.
  
• LPC: Do you have the wig liner?
  
• Woman 1: Are you talking, or this is a machine?
  
• LPC: I'm talking to you.
  
• Woman 1: Because other people are talking too, so I'm not so sure how many people I'm talking to.
  
• LPC: I'm a person trying to buy a wig from you.
  
• Woman 1: Yeah, you can come to store to look.
  
• LPC: Hi.
  
• LPC: I was looking for a wig with a skin part where it gives the illusion of skin where the hair is parted down the middle or off to the side.
  
• Woman 2: Hello?
  
• LPC: Hi.
  
• Woman 2: You said giving an illusion of the skin part?
  
• LPC: Yes.
  
• Woman 2: No, we don't have that one.
  
• LPC: Okay.
  
• LPC: Do you have something with braids, like long hand braided layers that frame my face from the wig?
  
• Woman 2: That frames your face?
  
• Woman 2: I wouldn't know how your face actually looks.
  
• LPC: Oh, it's round like an apple.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Hello?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Hello?
  
• LPC: Hello wig store?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Yes.
  
• LPC: Hi.
  
• LPC: Yes.
  
• LPC: I was looking for a three quarter wig.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I carried them, but I don't have any in the store.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I'd have to order it for you.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: It has to be matched to your hair.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: So that's something that you would have to order.
  
• LPC: Do you have anything gray-headed?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Yes.
  
• LPC: Now what about a bounty of long hand-tied braids tied into my own hair?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I don't have that.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No, I don't have that.
  
• LPC: What do you got?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I don't have anything with braids.
  
• LPC: Okay, now do you have something that will add a lot of volume without adding weight?
  
• LPC: Maybe to add overall fullness to the wig like a permatease?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Some of the wigs come with the permatease already in them.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: You just have to pick out the kind of, you know, you got to look and, you know, and find what you're looking for.
  
• LPC: And you got a soft touch, right?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: A soft touch wig?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Is that a brand?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I don't know what you're talking about.
  
• LPC: When you put the wig onto my head.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Oh, okay.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: What about it?
  
• LPC: Can you glue it onto my head?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No, I don't do any installs.
  
• LPC: You have to go, You got a soft touch, or touch, or touch?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I don't.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: You better not!
  
• LPC: Can you glue it onto my head?
  
• LPC: Or onto the...
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No!
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No!
  
• LPC: Wig liner?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No, I don't do that.
  
• LPC: I've got my own wig liner.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: It doesn't matter.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: All I do is sell wigs, but I do not install them for you.
  
• LPC: Would you deliver the wigs, please?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Where do you live?
  
• LPC: I live in Clackamas and then I can just pick whichever ones I choose.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No, I don't do that.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Only thing, you pick out the wig and I can ship it to you, but I wouldn't drive to Clackamas.
  
• LPC: But you'll glue it onto my head, right?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No.
  
• LPC: Head, right?
  
• LPC: Head, right?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Oh no.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No.
  
• LPC: Oh no.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No.
  
• LPC: Oh no.
  
• LPC: Oh no.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I don't do installs.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: You have to have someone else to do that.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I don't do that.
  
• LPC: Okay, now, will you tease the wig?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: No, I don't do that.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I don't do any of that.
  
• LPC: What I need is one ear to stick out on one side, but the other side is completely covered by the wig.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Okay, pick out that style of wig.
  
• LPC: Okay, you got that?
  
• LPC: You got that?
  
• LPC: You got that?
  
• LPC: You got that?
  
• LPC: Oh.
  
• LPC: Oh.
  
• LPC: Oh.
  
• LPC: How much is it?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: You have to pick out a wig.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: The wigs start at anywhere from a hundred dollars and go up to two thousand dollars.
  
• LPC: Are you all gray-headed up there?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Okay, I'm gonna have to hang up.
  
• LPC: What's the matter?
  
• LPC: What's the matter?
  
• LPC: What's the matter?
  
• LPC: Let me just give you my address, okay?
  
• LPC: Okay.
  
• LPC: For delivery?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: How can I deliver you something you haven't even picked out anything?
  
• LPC: Well, it's the gray-headed one with braids and the skin part in the middle.
  
• LPC: You know?
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: What's your name, sir?
  
• LPC: What's your name?
  
• LPC: My name's Merlin Fawcett.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Okay, Merlin, again, let me say this.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: I do not have, there's not a, put that down.
  
• Wig Store Woman 3: Hey, come over here!