Man(1): No, what are you boat here?

LPC: I need to— I need, uh… to get out on the water and, uh, get a new boat pretty soon.

Man(1): Are you lookin’ to rent?

LPC: Yeah, lease.

Man(1): What’re you lookin’ to rent?

LPC: Uh, I need to go real fast, uh… real soon.

Man(1): All right, then.

LPC: Is I going to work or what?

Man(1): Are you lookin’ to rent a boat?

LPC: Yeah! Why do ya keep hangin’ up?

Man(1): Because you sound like a flake. You sound like you’re… on drugs.

LPC: What in the world do you mean?

LPC: mean? Oh, my gosh.

LPC: You lookin’ to get y—?

Man(1): Look, if you’re not gonna be serious, then don’t call me back, alright?—

LPC: You lookin’ to get y’ass whooped or what?

Man(1): Hello?

LPC: Yes, I was interested in renting a speedboat for this weekend.

Man(1): It's a $100 deposit per day, if you want to hold the day.

LPC: D’you guys take gold?

Man(1): Gold what?

LPC: Bars.

Man(2): This guy’s an idiot. Just hang up on him.

Man(1): I don't call it.

Man(1): He's on drugs.

Man(2): Hello?

LPC: Yes, I was wondering if you guys.

LPC: delivered boats?

Man(2): Dude, if you keep calling us, you're going to get harassed.

Man(2): We'll file charges. Stop calling.

LPC: Do I have to pick up, or can you

LPC: come to me with the boats?

Man(2): Who is this?

LPC: This is snake.

Man(1): Hello?

LPC: Yeah, I was wondering if you guys

LPC: would accept a gold chain for

Man(1): a boat. Yeah, and you'd call

Man(1): like a thousand times, Jason. My name's

Man(1): Ben. Oh, okay, Ben. You and your boyfriend, Jason.

Man(1): Have fun on your little C-Dil Islander,

Man(1): and do anything you want to do, okay?

Man(1): You can play with skis, you can do anything you want.

Man(1): Have fun.

Man(1): We both here.

Man(1): Gay is both in town.

LPC: Listen up, dude.

LPC: Are you guys queer or what?

Man(1): Yeah, I've got to knock you off.

LPC: That’s what I thought!

Man(1): My name's Jason.

Man(1): I'm gay.

Man(1): I love it in my abs.

LPC: Are you gonna trade my gold chain for your water skis or not?

Man(1): We don't have any water skis.

Man(1): We don't have any water skis. We're not sharing anything in, dude.

Man(1): Stop calling.

Man(1): If you continue to call,

Man(1): harassment, we got your number already, so that unknown crap that you're doing, it doesn't work.

LPC: Uh-oh.

Man(1): Yeah, and that's 4, 5, 6, yeah. It doesn't work, bro.

LPC: Your bogus Craigslist is not gonna work.

Man(1): What are you talking about, bro?

Man(1): We're going to trade our ski for a freaking gold chain. How dumb are you?

LPC: It’s a long chain, dude.

Man(1): I don’t care if it’s "a long chain"!

Man(1): Money costs and bullshit loss, bro.

LPC: Pshh… You never heard o’ Byron, though, huh?

Man(1): Byron. No, Byron?

LPC: That dude goes like two.

LPC: 200 miles an hour in a boat.

Man(1): Oh, that's awesome, dude. That's awesome. That's cool.

Man(2): I bet he’ll go 200 miles an hour in your ass, too!

LPC: So I got one chain for one boat, period.

LPC: End of discussion.

Man(1): Not doing it. Stop call. Why do you, like, continue to call?

Man(1): You like continue to call. It's comic.

LPC: I have never called you before.

LPC: I saw it on Craig's list or Emily's list or whatever it was, and I call.

Man(1): Probably.

Man(1): Dude, you call a lot, bro. Don't act dumb.

Man(1): Don't be stupid.

LPC: You got that covered.

LPC: I'm going to knock you out.

LPC: And then I'm going to ride around in a boat all day.

Man(1): You don't even know what I look like.

Man(1): I just, I love, just please, come over here and not try to knock me out.

Man(1): That’d be awesome!

Man(2): Come over to Nevada boat company.

Man(2): We partnered up with them, too.

Man(2): We're going to start storing our boat for us here.

LPC: I'm going to take you out, period.

Man(1): Who are you going to take me out and stick me in my head, you all over?

Man(1): I'll never have been out of the steakhouse.

LPC: I’ll meet you at the Steakhouse.

Man(1): Hey, hey, hold on, hold on.

Man(1): So you must not be getting very good business, huh?

LPC: Me?

Man(1): Yeah, do you?

LPC: Oh, my business is great.

Man(1): So your business is so great you gotta call and harass people?

LPC: It's Friday night, man.

LPC: And you're the one on Craigslist, so you work it out.

Man(1): Oh, we're on Craigslist, and we're going to work it up?

Man(1): I'm not on Craigslist, Jackass.

LPC: I’m lookin’ right at it.

Man(1): What's it said?

LPC: Says, "Call you for boats… prick".

Man(1): Call me for both.

Man(1): That's what it says right now.

Man(1): Call me for boats.

LPC: Prick.

Man(1): Oh, you're very conical, don't you?

Man(1): Mew-D-D-D-D-Huddy.

Man(1): I honestly want to know if you have nothing better else to do than call people on Craigslist.

Man(1): These guys are complete moron.

Man(2): I live off of Hokie and bubble up and I rent my house because I can't afford to buy my own fucking house.

LPC: What do you care where I live?

Man(2): You're 35-year-old going somewhere alive, right?

Man(2): You're getting out with Nevada boat company.

Man(2): You're doing nothing, right?

LPC: I’m the one askin’ the questions here…

LPC: Prick.

Man(1): Dude, you're a weird.

Man(1): There he is.

Man(1): Gosh, you're making my day.

Man(1): This is awesome.

Man(2): I want to hear,

Man(2): this team is being stupid

Man(2): because you're making yourself

Man(2): like a complete embecile.

Man(2): You're awesome.

Man(2): Dude, are you high right now?

LPC: No.

Man(1): Dude, stop calling.

LPC: I need jet skis.

Man(1): We don't have jet skis.

Man(1): We don't have skis.

Man(1): We don't have chains.

Man(1): We don't have anchors.

Man(1): We don't have any of that crap.

Man(2): We are, we are rental company.

Man(2): You can rent use gildo to fuck Jacob Fulton in the ass.

LPC: Who?

Man(2): What did Ceeoo Island?

Man(2): Like me?

Man(2): Dan partner up in Nevada Company, if you like, as well.

LPC: You lost me.

LPC: Yeah.