Pam: Hi, I'm not seeing anything that we have or have had that just has the title Ardvark.

Pam: Could it be a different title, maybe?

Man(1): I’m lookin’ up “Loan Shark” in my inventory and nothing’s popping up on that.

Pam: I’m sorry, ah, were you looking for a book called “Aardvark”?

Man(1): Oh, I'm sorry, I got Lone Sharp from that. That's my bed. Ardvark. Okay, that is on me.

Man(1): Pardon me.

Pam: Oh, no! You’re fine! Um…

Man(1): I have Ardvark.

Man(1): is ready for war, is what's popping up.

Man(2): Defunct Books?

Man(2): Hello?

Man(1): Hello?

Pam: Huh? Hello?

Man(2): Yeah, again, somebody called me.

Man(2): This is Defunc Books in Nashville?

Pam: This is Lemuria bookstore in Jackson.

Pam: I just had someone on the phone who was looking for a book called Ardbark.

Man(1): This is Square Books right here.

Man(2): —Yeah. I’m confused as to why you’re calling me.

Brian: “Aardvark”?

Heather: This is Heather. How may help you?

Heather: Hello?

Brian: Are we—hello? Are we getting… Wow, what the heck’s goin’ on here?

Heather: Ah, this is Heather from Fox Den Books. Did you call us?—

Brian: —[chuckles] No! This is Brian from Chapter 2 Books in Hudson.

Heather: Okay.

Brian: Somebody just called me looking for a book.

Heather: Okay! And where do I come into it? [laughs]—

Brian: I don’t know!

Man(3): Hello?

Heather: Did you just call Chapter 2 books?

Heather: Nope.

Chris: Uh, you know what we've said?

Heather: Uh, you know what we've said?

Chris: about to a book company.

Man(3): Somebody called me, okay?

Heather: Yep.

Heather: I hope you're having a great day.

Brian: You too.

Brian: This is weird.

Brian: I still got somebody on the other line.

Brian: What is going on here?

Brian: Yeah.

Heather: I don't know, but James is saying this is happening to one of our employees this morning.

Chris: Hey, guys.

Chris: I'm a third.

Chris: I'm just...

Heather: —there’s this customer calling and has multiple people on the line—

Heather: I don't know how they're doing it, but it's led to a lot of confusion.

Heather: So I'm just going to take us.

Heather: out of the equation.

Brian: Okay.

Brian: Well, all right.

Brian: Thanks.

Heather: Thank you.

Heather: Bye.

Heather: Okay.

Brian: Yeah, I’m still here!

Chris: Hey, I'm Chris at Boswell Book Company.

Chris: Are you at a bookstore?

Brian: Yeah.

Brian: Chapter 2 books in Hudson, Wisconsin.

Chris: Okay.

Chris: We've talked to people at the attic in Green Bay, too, where we've had this.

Chris: And I don't know who else was on the line just now, but yeah.

Brian: Okay.

Chris: Yeah, no idea why.

Chris: —We’ve gotten a bunch of—

Chris: I did not put the call.

Chris: You guys, someone else is...

Chris: Here's a call right here.

Pam: My area of books.

Pam: This is me.

Chris: Hi.

Chris: Hi, this is Chris at Boswell Book Company.

Chris: Um, on this...

Chris: Okay.

Chris: —we’re on this chain here—

Chris: Yeah, have you been...

Chris: Yeah, have you been calls about baboon?

Brian: You know, if we wait long enough,

Brian: we might be able to get the whole population of Wisconsin on this call.

Brian: I know.

Man(5): I don't know what's going on.

Man(5): So is who's meaning to call down down?

Man(5): So is who's meaning to call downtown books?

Chris: No.

Chris: No one.

Chris: Yeah, no, no one.

Chris: Okay, this is done getting these two.

Chris: This is Chris at Boswell.

Man(5): Yeah, I don't know.

Man(5): I don't know.

Man(5): I don't know what's going on either.

Man(5): Yeah.

Man(5): This is Downtown bookstore, yeah.

Pam: This is Lemuria bookstore.

Pam: Yeah, we had a call earlier about somebody went in Ardvark, and I think we hung up, but after we realized, like, everyone was on it.

Pam: But, yeah, I don't know what's going on.

Pam: This is very weird.

Chris: I don't know.

Chris: It seems like it's going to keep doing.

Chris: I have no idea.

Chris: It's just.

Man(5): Okay, all right.

Man(5): Well, if no one's intending it's called Downtown Books, then I'll just hang up.

Chris: Yeah, I'm going to do the same.

Chris: Good luck, guys.

Man(5): Okay.

Man(5): All right.

Brian: We'll talk later.

Man(6): Hi there.

Man(7): —I guess we’re trying to find a—a book for you called “Baboon”?

Joe: Who are you?

Man(7): You could call the bookstore.

Joe: What book store are you talkin’ about?

Man(7): Kinokuniya, the book store in Japantown.

Joe: You’re full of shit!

Man(7): Um, okay.

Woman(1): supposed to help your friend.

Woman(2): Sorry?

Woman(1): I do—I don’t understand what your friend would like to get—what kind of book he wants.

Woman(2): Oh, is this about “The Baboo—“

Woman(1): Yeah, he wants the book, A-A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K, correct?

Woman(2): I apologize.

Woman(2): Yeah, this is Boswell Book Company.

Woman(2): Someone has been calling around.

Joe: Hello?

Joe: Hello.

Joe: Hello?

Woman(2): Hello.

Joe: Yes.

Woman(2): Are you calling about a book store?

Joe: What book store are you talkin’ about?

Woman(2): The one in Milwaukee.

Woman(2): Did someone call you asking about a book?

Joe: What kind of book you talkin’ about?

Woman(2): Yeah, okay.

Woman(1): His name is Joe.

Woman(1): He asks him for a book, and he spell me the name, A-A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K,

Woman(1): and that you're supposed to give me ISB number so that I can find whether we have it.

Joe: You know something?

Joe: You know something what I want to tell you?

Joe: You're a criminal, and you're stupid.

Joe: You're a very big criminal.

Joe: You're a son of a bitch.

Woman(1): My goodness, I don't know.

Woman(1): That's a customer who called me asking for this book.

Woman(1): I don't know what he's talking about.

Chris: Thanks for contact, sir.

Woman(1): Okay, sorry about that.

Woman(1): I apologize.

Woman(1): Anything wrong from my side.

Man(9): Who is this?

Man(9): Hello?

Woman(3): Hello?

Man(9): You’re supposed to be helping me figure out which “Aardvark” book I’m looking for?

Woman(3): Well, I can. I own a bookstore, Smith, and Hannan.

Man(9): Um, I got a call from somebody who said that they were getting somebody else on the phone.

Joe: Hello?

Woman(3): Hello?

Joe: Yes.

Woman(3): Joe?

Joe: Yes.

Man(9): Hi.

Woman(3): Hello. Did you call me?

Woman(3): Joe.

Joe: Who are you?

Man(9): I would be looking for a book called Ardvark, but the last person I talked to

Man(9): who didn't have enough information about it for me to find it?

Joe: What kind of book you're talking about?

Joe: Just a minute.

Man(9): I don't know what's going on.

TTS: Please leave your message.

Joe: You're full of crap.

Joe: You're criminals.

FERB: First edition, rare books.

FERB: Please hold while we connect your call.

Mike: Well, uh, if any of you were ever in Milwaukee's General Mitchell Field,

Mike: we have the world's first used bookstore in an airport, and you're all welcome.

Katie: Uh, can I go?

Mike: Yes.

Mike: —I’m terribly sorry, everybody.

Katie: No, it's a lot.

Katie: —Did you mean to call Annie Bloom’s Books in Portland, Oregon?

Mike: I did not! I—I—I—

Joe: Are you talking to me? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

Mike: I'm Mike at the Renaissance in Milwaukee, and, uh, the other lady is Katie at Annie Bloom Books in

Mike: Portland. And how we all ended up on lines together, I don't know.

Joe: Well, let me tell you. Let me tell you who you are. You're a mother fucking chicken shit

Joe: criminal. You'll be in jail. You a piece of shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Joe: You're a cancer for the medical. You're a piece of shit, shit, shit.

Mike: Well, this is fascinating. Apparently, uh, someone from the, uh, Trump campaign is on the line.

Mike: Farewell.

Man(10): That's hilarious.

Man(11): Excuse me. Did you hear what I said?

Man(11): We have 150,000 books in this store. I don't know what kind of book it is really. I don't know what kind of book it is really. When you say nonfiction, we have nonfiction, African American, Asian American. His

Man(11): American, gay, lesbian, transgender, labor, radical left movements, right wean,

Man(11): Asian languages. Do you understand the problem with looking to see if it's there?

Man(11): We have 150,000 books on the whole top floor. What is it about?

Joe: Hello?

Man(11): Hi, what is this book you're looking for? Say this again?

Man(11): What is the book that you are looking for here?

Joe: Did I ever tell you about the book?

Joe: What did I tell you?

Man(11): You said you picked up a book called Ardvark at our shop.

Joe: Where are you? What shop are you in?

Man(11): Bolerium Books!

Joe: You're a motherfucker criminal.

Joe: You're a piece of shit. You're going to be in jail very soon. You son of a bitch.

Man(12): Hello? Yeah.

Man(12): Okay. Um. So, uh, I understand you’re trying to find a book called “Baboon”.

Man(13): Yeah, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Man(5): Downtown books.

Man(12): I was speaking to someone on the phone who said they were going to go get someone who knew more about this book they were asking about.

Man(12): Are you that person?

Man(5): —Ye—No, I don’t know. It’s weird. Who’re you calling, Boswell Books or Downtown Books?

Man(12): Okay. I am in a bookstore and someone, presumably a customer, was calling and asking if we have more copies of this book called Baboon.

Man(12): And it's not an interesting.

Man(5): Yeah, I don't know. It must be Boswell books. I don't know.

Man(5): Because this is downtown books. And for some reason, we're getting calls that are intended for Boswell over here.

Man(5): It's very bizarre. I don't know if they did something where they forwarded a call or something. I don't know.

Woman(5): Good afternoon.

Man(12): Well, it sounds like there's something with the phone system.

Man(5): Yeah. Is there somebody else on the line now?

Man(12): Well, I just heard of third wife, a woman.

Man(12): Yeah, okay. So the thing is.

Man(12): It must be for someone else.

Man(12): It must be for a different store.

Man(5): Yeah, hold on.

Man(5): There's someone else on the line now.

Man(5): Listen to them.

Man(5): Okay.

Man(5): Go ahead.

Man(5): Is this Brian?

Ryan: This is Ryan at Book Soup.

Ryan: How about you?

Man(12): I'm going to hang up because this is clearly nothing to do with our store.

Man(5): Okay.

Man(5): All right.

Man(5): So I don't know what's going on.

Man(5): There seems to be stuff going on.

Man(5): This is Book Soup?

Woman(6): N—no, this is Skylight Books.

Man(5): Okay.

Man(5): That's even more strange.

Man(5): Is book soup on the line?

Man(5): —No, I don’t know how somebody—

SPEAKER_06: Why am I part of the story?

SPEAKER_06: It's called?

SPEAKER_06: Hello?

Woman(6): Yes.

Man(5): There seems to be a whole bunch of different people

Man(5): on this line from different bookstores.

Man(5): Very bizarre.

Man(14): Strange.

Man(5): I don't know.

Man(5): Yeah.

Ryan: All right.

Ryan: Is this something I can help you with or?

Man(5): No, because someone called me!—

SPEAKER_06: Okay, I'm going to hang up.

Ryan: Okay, I'm going to hang up.

Man(5): Okay.

Man(5): All right.

Man(5): I guess I'm going to hang up, too, because it doesn't.

Man(5): I'm not looking for a book.

Man(5): I'm a bookstore.

Man(5): There's something bizarre going on.

Man(5): Who is this?

Man(5): There's something bizarre going on with the phone system here.

Man(5): What's that?

Chris: It's true to me.

Chris: This is Matt.

Chris: What is that?

Man(5): —Yeah, so, do you think I called you?

Matt: Yeah.

Man(15): I just got a call from this.

Man(5): Now there's three of us on the line, right?

Man(5): Something very strange is going on.

Man(5): —where there—there seems to be all these—where are you from?

Matt: I've heard this is a scam.

Woman(7): This is.

SPEAKER_18: This is a scam. Hang up.

Man(15): Okay.

Woman(7): Everyone hang up.

Woman(7): Stop doing this to people, okay?

Woman(7): Hang up.

Woman(7): Stop calling, okay?

SPEAKER_00: Thanks for calling, Pozman Books,

Man(16): where we offer no books on baboons.

Man(16): How can I help you?

Woman(7): Stop calling, okay?

Woman(7): We don't have time for this.

Mina: Thank you for calling Kino-Kunia, Santa Monica.

Mina: This is me.

Woman(7): No, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up, hang up,

Woman(7): —Hang up! It’s a scam.

Woman(7): Hang up. It’s a scam.