Mario: Hello?

LPC: Hi! My name’s Helmut with ASCAP. How are we today?

Mario: I’m good.

LPC: Good. I know you are under new management, so I thought I'd give you a call and introduce myself.

LPC: I'm your new account rep here at Ascab.

Mario: No, I’m the old manager; you’re calling the wrong person.

LPC: Yeah, well I’m new to the account, so, ah—

Mario: —Well I’m—I just leased the place; I have nothing to do with Northern D’Lites anymore.

LPC: Well you got live music up there, don’t ya?

Mario: I don't have anything.

Mario: Let me spell it out to you again.

Mario: I do not own the place anymore.

Mario: I sold it last week.

LPC: —Do you guys got chickens on the sidewalk up ‘ere?

Mario: Hello?

LPC: Sir, it's Helmut Frick with Askup.

LPC: I just had a couple quick questions for you today, okay?

Mario: Sure, whatever you say.

LPC: We just would like to get a small deposit just so that—

Mario: —I am not the owner! Do you understand? Can you understand me? I s—w—leased the place as of the 19th of last week; I do not have anything to do with Northern D’Lites.

LPC: —you don’t get behind, okay? If we could just get a $200 deposit we’ll be all set, okay, on your account here, today. Okay?

Mario: Listen, fuckface: I don’t owe you anything ‘cause I am not the owner! Do you understand English?

LPC: That's not how it works, sir. This is asking.

LPC: Saskap calling, okay?

Mario: Hello?

LPC: Yes, Mario, this is ASCAP calling, okay? Now—

Mario: Yeah, I gather that.

Mario: Now, you listen to me.

Mario: I don't have anything to do with Northern Delights anymore.

LPC: Okay.

Mario: —I sold it last week!—

LPC: Okay.

Mario: You said to me, you know it's under new management.

Mario: Why are you bothering me?

LPC: Well, before last week, you were playing the song by Don Komovia called Taco

LPC: Comovia.

LPC: Taco Como Villa.

Mario: —How ‘bout playing your mother’s pussy ya fuckin’ asshole, ya four-eyed fuck?!—

LPC: And you owe us $200, okay?

Mario: I'm not going to come up and fucking gutcha, you, you motherfucker.

LPC: No.

Man: Oh, fuck Christ, Sam. Why don't you stop it?

Mario: Hello?

LPC: Hello, sir, when are you going to pay us for Taco Como Villa?

LPC: Taco Como Villa, the song, that you've been playing?

Mario: How Mo Villa?

Mario: again. Listen to me, I don't own it anymore. I don't owe you any money. As a matter of fact,

Mario: you owe me money. So bust off and go fuck yourself.

LPC: Taco Comovilla, [sfx] okay?

LPC: Yes, sir. We’re just gonna send a rep. out to pick a check up, okay? This evening, alright?

Mario: Sure, that's fine. No problem. $200, we're done.

Mario: $200?

Mario: and you're done for playing one song.

LPC: Yeah, Taco Como Villa.

LPC: Taco Como. This is Ascac.

Mario: —Do you know what “Taco Comovilla” means?

LPC: No, sir.

Mario: It means, “stick it up your ass, ya asshole!”

Mario: Yeah?

LPC: Sir, this is Helmut Frick with Ascab.

LPC: What do we need to do to do to get through with you here today?

Mario: How about listening?

Mario: Take the fucking shit out of your ears

Mario: and listen to what I'm saying.

Mario: I do not own it anymore.

Mario: I've been closed for fucking the last year, douchebag.

Mario: How about that?

Mario: Do you understand that now?

LPC: I wanna come over and pick a check up, is what I need from ya here today!—

Mario: Yeah, come on over there.

Mario: No problem. I'll be here.

LPC: You played the song by Don Como Villa.

LPC: That's $200 price tag associated with that song, okay?

Mario: Yeah, no problem.

Mario: As a matter of fact, I played it twice that even.

Mario: I'll pay you $400. How's that?

LPC: I'll send a wrap over.

Mario: You do that, sir.

LPC: I want you to be serious when he shows up.

Mario: Meanwhile, why don't you take some fucking toilet paper?

Mario: Because I'm going to drive down there after you pick the checkup,

Mario: and I'm going to pull your asshole up to your fucking ears,

Mario: so I don't have to fuck.

Mario: You can't hear me anymore.

Mario: You fuck?