Woman: Adam Shee Shopping to Kepsy.

LPC: Hi! I need about six pans of Manchego—

LPC: Okay, I need that shredded.

Woman: So we do not shred sheep.

LPC: Oh, you don’t. Okay. I see.

Woman: No, we don't.

Woman: But we are able to get you the six pounds. We just don't shred it.

LPC: Okay, I got a cookout comin’ tonight. Um—

Woman: Oh, you need it by tonight?

LPC: Now, if I need about 14 pounds of Gouda.

LPC: Is that something we could do?

Woman: Give me one second. I'm just going to get her.

LPC: Now, what is the—what is the—what country of origin is Gouda, even? [sfx]

Woman: Um, ah, I see—well, which kind are you looking for?

LPC: A creamy, sweet flavor; a mild Gouda. [sfx]

Woman: Okay.

LPC: I know aging plays a large part in that, but, you know, more of a subtle base flavor.

LPC: In the keys.

Woman: We have rex wax Gouda.

LPC: Oh, nice. Okay, that sounds, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.

Woman: Okay, so.

Woman: Okay, so, let's do you want 14 pounds of that?

LPC: Um, yeah, and if you’ve got anything with sheep’s milk in it. You know, more of a grassy flavor, more of a tangier backbone to it, that would be something I would really enjoy for my cookout! [delays] Yeah—

LPC: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, sure, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Woman: Okay, so 14 pounds, redwax cuda.

Woman: —Uh, you said you want six pounds of Manchego, right?

LPC: Yes, and, uh, is your cheese temperature-controlled up ‘ere? [sfx]

Woman: Um, yes.

None: Okay.

Woman: Okay, yeah.

Woman: Can I, what else are you looking for?

LPC: Anything crumbly, like, uh, maybe, uh, yeah, something crumbly, crumbly, crumbly, crumbly, crumbly, crumbly, crumbly, crumbly, crumbly, a crumbly, a crumbly, a crumbly, a crumbly, a crumbly, a crumbly, a crumbly, goly. So something like that, if you can get that, like, a telegio, something like that, or Reggiano, or, maybe a Manchago, go, go, go, oh, do you have Manchago at all in your cheese?

Woman: Give me like one second; You just keep cutting out. Hold on—

LPC: No, I'm fine.

LPC: I can hear you fine.

Woman: Okay, yeah.

LPC: The cheese always starts with milk.

LPC: I understand that, but I'm trying to make a profound difference here with my cheese choices that you've got in stock.

LPC: Something less buttery than a Gouda.

Woman: Okay, you know, something less buttery?

LPC: Pecorino, maybe? Um…

Woman: You want, you want pecorino?

LPC: I would like pecorino.

LPC: Something found in a cave that's real crumbly, sharp.

LPC: Real sharp, sweet and kind of nutty, nutty flavor.

LPC: You know, it's kind of nutty, kind of nutty.

LPC: Kind of nutty.

Woman: Did you want a Gruyère?

LPC: Ooh, Gruyer, yeah, grew, year, grew, year, grew, yeah.

LPC: That's what I need, yeah.

Woman: Sir, were you looking for a platter?

LPC: Something that has a moist, crumbly, sharp, sweet, nutty flavor,

LPC: you know, from the yeast.

Woman: You want moist, crumbly, sharp, sweet, nutty flavor.

LPC: Yeah, something spreadable, too, I'm thinking.

LPC: too, I'm thinking, with a mushroomy kind of aroma.

LPC: Something mushroomy, I'm thinking, that you could put on a sandwich or bake into a crust.

Woman: Okay, yeah. I’m just trying to figure out what cheese you want.

LPC: Something with a short aging period.

Woman: With a short aging period.

None: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

LPC: Something maybe you could use on a casserole or over some beans or something.

LPC: something that's got like a chalky finish in the mouth.

LPC: Something real chalky, that would be real good.

Woman: Sir, is there another phone that you could call us back on?

LPC: Well, I’m on a fax machine, here, my—somebody using my phone. [sfx]

Woman: Oh, yeah. We can’t understand you.

LPC: Do you have anything un-aged? [sfx] or anything brined?

LPC: —Anything that’s brined, perhaps? [sfx]

Woman: Like feta?

LPC: Yeah.

Woman: Yeah, we have.

Woman: I have feta, but, sir, I really can't understand you.

LPC: Can you crumble that for me?

Woman: No, we don't crumble too, sir.

LPC: You don't crumble?

LPC: Okay.

Woman: No.

LPC: Do you have something with a salty brine to it?

Woman: Yeah, the fetta, sir, but you're cutting out.

LPC: Oh, I can hear you just fine.

Woman: I understand, but you literally sound like a remix.

LPC: A who, no?

Woman: Do you sound like you're, you sound like you're,

Woman: So everything you’re saying is doing that.

Woman: I can't understand you, sir.

Woman: I'm going to have to hang up.

Woman: Please call back from another phone.

LPC: Something with a nutty flavor.