Global Elite Boy: Hello?

LPC: Yeah, this is Harrison over at GameStop.

LPC: What are you doing here?

Global Elite Boy: Over at GameStop?

LPC: Yeah, I'm here at GameStop on Leedsdale,

LPC: and we're looking for people to take part in a tournament.

LPC: We got the 4th of July to pay everybody $250.

Global Elite Boy: Everyone who enters gets $250?

Global Elite Boy: Cash money?

LPC: Yes, indeed, yes, sir.

LPC: July 4th.

Global Elite Boy: Cash money.

LPC: Yeah, July 4th, from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.

LPC: Here on Leedsdale Road.

LPC: It's wondering if you knew anybody who we could recruit, get them signed up, and get planned.

Global Elite Boy: I do, I do.

LPC: You do?

LPC: Oh, okay.

LPC: Are you any good?

Global Elite Boy: Oh, yeah, I'm really good.

Global Elite Boy: I'm really excited to go.

LPC: All right.

LPC: Let's see.

LPC: How much do you weigh?

Global Elite Boy: Probably about 140.

LPC: Now, I want to make sure you're going to fit.

LPC: And make sure where you're going to sit and...

Global Elite Boy: What's going on with your voice there?

LPC: My voice? I can't take part because I work here. I'm excluded.

LPC: Is that what you mean?

Global Elite Boy: Oh, okay. So you can't play the games.

LPC: I'm not allowed because I'm an employee. Is that what you're asking?

Global Elite Boy: Yeah.

LPC: Because if I did, no offense, you wouldn't stand a chance against me.

Global Elite Boy: Oh, I think I'd put you down real quick.

LPC: No, you ever heard a CounterStrike?

Global Elite Boy: Yeah.

LPC: Yeah, I'm probably the best in the country, best player.

Global Elite Boy: No, I'm the top player.

Global Elite Boy: I'm the top player in CounterStrike. Yeah.

LPC: No. I'm sorry. Not compare it to me. You're not so, but you don't have to worry because I'm not...

Global Elite Boy: I'm a global elite. I'm a global elite.

LPC: Oh, that's fine. I've got people offering me thousands of dollars for tips and secrets.

LPC: And so I don't think you'd really compare, but don't worry because you're not playing.

LPC: me. You're playing other people. Do you understand? That's why I say you wouldn't last more

LPC: in a couple minutes. You'd be defeated. You'd be destroyed. If I were playing it.

Global Elite Boy: Who, me? Yes.

Global Elite Boy: Is it a CounterStrike tournament?

Global Elite Boy: Yes.

Global Elite Boy: No, I would become, I would win. I'd come on top.

LPC: What makes you say that?

Global Elite Boy: I'm a global elite. Okay. Do you know what that is?

Global Elite Boy: I don't think you know what it is. I'm the top player in CounterStrike. I'm the top.

LPC: Well, we've never engaged in combat.

LPC: If we did, you'd be taken down several notches.

Global Elite Boy: If I engaged in combat with you, I one-tap your ass, bud, across the map.

LPC: I'm number one. I just am. I slay.

LPC: Any opponent, slayed. Any challenger, slayed. I'm a slayer, and that's what you need to remember.

Global Elite Boy: Look, I thought this was about some tournament. What's going on here?

LPC: It is. But you do.

LPC: telling me that you're involved in elitism, and I don't know if that's the spirit of the tournament.

LPC: The tournament is good nature. I don't know if we won elitism necessarily.

Global Elite Boy: Well, you started it. You started talking all this trash.

LPC: I'm not going to talk strategy with you. That's cheating. Because if I told you my strategy,

LPC: you would have such a tremendous advantage that you would win the grand prize, which is the Dodge Neon.

LPC: 2018, Dodge Neon.

Global Elite Boy: Okay. Um, can you put me down?

Global Elite Boy: for the tournament.

LPC: Yeah, I've got you down here. And you say you weigh 240 pounds?

Global Elite Boy: 140. 140.

LPC: 140 pounds, okay. And so you're, uh, intermediate, a novice?

Global Elite Boy: I'm a master. I'm a global elite.

LPC: So versus me, you're, you're, you're an intermediate. That's what you're saying?

Global Elite Boy: Oh, uh. No, see, I'd take you down. I'd take you out. Every time, every time you pop up on my screen,

Global Elite Boy: boom, annihilated.

Global Elite Boy: You're out. I'm better than you. I'm trying to tell you that.

LPC: I would bring you to the depths, so you'd be slayed, and then you'd brought down so far below the depths.

LPC: You'd be decimated by my skill and my advantage that I have. That's why I'm here. Who works at GameStop?

LPC: Me or you?

Global Elite Boy: I guess you do.

LPC: That's accurate.

Global Elite Boy: Whoa.

LPC: It's the first accurate thing that you said. And so you weighed 340? 240.

Global Elite Boy: 140.

LPC: 140. Okay, we got some players who are very rotative.

LPC: And you're a novice? Well, that's okay. We take everybody.

Global Elite Boy: A novice. I'm telling you I'm a master. I'm a global elite. Do you know what a global elite is?

Global Elite Boy: Have you ever played CounterStrike before? I thought you were good.

LPC: I'm beyond global elite, sir. I'm in the stratosphere. You can't get past global elite. (fix)

LPC: I'm in the stratosphere here.

LPC: You're in the stratosphere? Oh, big time.

LPC: What the hell? What does that mean? I'm the great annihilator. So you're fortunate.

LPC: in that way that you don't have to face me as an opponent. It'd be total decimation.

Global Elite Boy: I think you're fortunate that you don't have to face me because I would destroy you, pal.

LPC: In CounterStrike? Huh? In CounterStrike? Oh, yeah. You would destroy me.

Global Elite Boy: Whoa. What's going on with your phone there?

LPC: I've told you before, I'm not eligible to be in the tournament.

LPC: I know. You've said that.

LPC: already. But you keep asking me what's my story and what's up with me and you don't have to worry because you're not going to face me. I'm trying to explain. No, your voice, your voice is going up and down like, you're just not prepared for me. You've never had to do. It's doing it again. It's doing it again. You've never had to confront someone like me. What? I wear gloves. I wear pads. I get into it. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have

Global Elite Boy: gloves in game, okay?

LPC: Not like this. I get into it. I decimate my opponent. I wear gloves. I wear googles. I wear a visor.

Global Elite Boy: Well, guess what? I'm a fucking wrist player. I wear goggles, too. I wear the fucking gunners, the MLG gunners. Okay?

Global Elite Boy: They fucking, they make you so you can, it's all zoomed in. I can, I can see you before you see me, pal. And then I'll

Global Elite Boy: deck you. Deck you straight in the head. Annihilated. Off my screen. Every time.

LPC: Your avatar would dissolve and disintegrate facing me on the battlefield.

Global Elite Boy: No. No. No. No. No. No.

LPC: What do you mean? No. No. No, you're wrong. You're wrong. I would destroy you.

LPC: I would decimate and pulverize and dissolve your avatar so quickly that you wouldn't even register a score.

Global Elite Boy: No, no, no. See, my score is going to be higher. I'm going to get more frags. I'm going to out

Global Elite Boy: frag you. And if we

Global Elite Boy: 1B1, I would win.

LPC: I'm a wizard. I'm a sorcerer.

Global Elite Boy: Well, I'm going to win

Global Elite Boy: the tournament, so you're speaking to

Global Elite Boy: the winner of the tournament right now.

Global Elite Boy: And then I'm going to be coming

Global Elite Boy: to your door for a

Global Elite Boy: 1V1 money match.

Global Elite Boy: How does that sound?

LPC: That's a if and when.

LPC: That's a big if and a big win.

Global Elite Boy: Oh, what the heck?

Global Elite Boy: You're like

Global Elite Boy: echoing really.

Global Elite Boy: badly. It's weird. Whoa. Listen, after I'm riding around in my Dodge Neon, I'm going to come over to the game stop and I'm going to lay, let's say, 150 bucks on the table, right? And then we'll one be one and we'll see who's the real master at Caramehake, huh? There is going to be money thrown down that I'm going to take from you. Does that make sense?

LPC: I'm going to slice and dice your avatar.

LPC: I just down.

Global Elite Boy: No, no, bud.

Global Elite Boy: That's not how it's going to work.

Global Elite Boy: What rank are you even?

LPC: I'm beyond the lead.

LPC: I'm stratospheric.

Global Elite Boy: I don't believe you.

LPC: You're going to be very unprepared on the battlefield.

LPC: Very unprofile.

Global Elite Boy: Oh, no, I'm prepared, pal.

Global Elite Boy: I can take you out one shot every time.

Global Elite Boy: I'm a global elite.

LPC: You'll be dissolved.

LPC: As soon as you hit start, as soon as you hit go, you'll be dissolved.

Global Elite Boy: No, that's not even possible.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: Don't see it.

LPC: say I didn't warn you.

Global Elite Boy: I'm not scared of your worrying about.

Global Elite Boy: I'm going to be taking your money.

LPC: I'm not even going to bring any, because I won't need it.

LPC: Any money?

LPC: I won't need any money, no.

LPC: What are you talking about?

LPC: I'm an annihilator.

LPC: You'll be dissolved.

Global Elite Boy: No, I am the annihilator.

Global Elite Boy: I will destroy you.

Global Elite Boy: And if you want to lose some money out there, around, where did you say, Leitzdale?

Global Elite Boy: After I win my 2018 Dodge Neon, because I have, I

Global Elite Boy: assure you. I am going to be the victor. I will one v one you for money, straight money,

Global Elite Boy: okay? $200. How does that sound?

LPC: You'll be paying me $200 fine, fine and dandy.

Global Elite Boy: No, we're going to each put $200 up for grabs. Whoever wins gets the $400.

Global Elite Boy: How does that sound? Or are you scared?

LPC: Are you scared? Sounds like you're looking to spend some money. That's what it sounds like.

Global Elite Boy: No, no. You're going to be losing.

Global Elite Boy: pal. I'll tell you what. You're going to get

Global Elite Boy: destroyed, bud. Just get prepared

LPC: is all I can say.

Global Elite Boy: I could not play

Global Elite Boy: until July 4th and still

LPC: beat you. You might as well not play at all

LPC: because that'd be the end result. I'm an

LPC: annihilator.

Global Elite Boy: Oh, wow.

Global Elite Boy: Wow. Yeah, I don't

LPC: think so. As long as you understand

LPC: what you're getting into.

LPC: Understand what? I'm not scared.

LPC: And you should save a lot of money

LPC: up. Because I'll be

LPC: taking it. All right?

Global Elite Boy: Okay. All right. How much do you

LPC: want to wait you there? You can set the

LPC: amount. I'll make sure I bring a

LPC: big bag to put it all in.

Global Elite Boy: You're a funny guy.

Global Elite Boy: You know that? You're a funny guy.

Global Elite Boy: All right. Cool. I'm looking

Global Elite Boy: forward to driving my new car.

Global Elite Boy: I can't wait.