Arthur: Unidentified caller, what do you need?

LPC: I’m Sasha with Downyflake Waffles and, ah, we’d like to get you down to try some frozen waffles with us!

SPEAKER_04: What are my little bomb with that?

Arthur: Bring jackass. What do you want?

LPC: Hey, why don’t you come try some frozen waffles there, guy? They’re real good!

Arthur: Why don’t you go jack off?!

LPC: Downey Flake Waffles.

Man(1): Yeah?

LPC: Anybody there?

Man(1): Yeah.

LPC: What's going on?

LPC: What do you need?

Man(1): Are you gay and over 21?

LPC: What time is it?

LPC: What time is it up there?

Man(1): Wow, that’s so gay!

LPC: What are you doing?

Man(1): I’m fuckin’ playing with my cock.

LPC: I bet.

Woman(1): How can I help you, please?

Man(1): Wow.

Man(1): You had a nut on the phone there.

Woman(1): Pardon me?

Man(1): I said there was some nut on the phone just now.

SPEAKER_06: Can I help you, then?

Man(1): Oh, there you go.

Man(1): Wow.

Man(1): Are you into hip-hop and shit and listen to Bernice?

Man(1): You listen to Bernice?

Man(1): What a fucking homo.

Man(1): You like new band.

Man(1): Huh, man? You like corn?

Man(1): You're such a bag.

Man(2): Shrimp connection?

LPC: Yes, I got some shrimp up bar, and I got home and I waited if I didn't get nearly enough shrimp with my order.

LPC: I came up bar now.

LPC: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

LPC: And I made my order fair and square, and then I turned around, high-tailed at home.

LPC: I wanted to eat the sons of guns.

LPC: You got me?

LPC: Got me, got me, got.

LPC: But then I realized that I don't.

LPC: I only got two, three shrimps.

LPC: My portion was real miniature.

Man(2): Oh, shit.

LPC: So what are we going to do here about you?

Man(2): Well, you're full of shit, what you are.

LPC: What are we going to do about you?

Man(2): No, you're full of shit.

SPEAKER_04: Come back.

LPC: Hey.

Man(2): Shrimp connection.

LPC: I didn't get nearly enough shrimp in my order there, sir.

LPC: I'm looking to make it right here today.

LPC: Can I get a refund?

Man(2): I don't know.

Man(2): you are. And you keep calling me with the same complaint. Now, where were you?

Man(2): What are you, uh, dingling?

Man(2): Oh, yeah, I'm a dingling. Oh, yeah.

Man(2): So, uh, yeah. So what did you get?

LPC: You took my money and you didn’t give me a doggone thing, partner!

Man(2): You left with nothing after I took yo money?

LPC: You took my money.

LPC: My money. You took my money.

Man(2): Well, that’s what I’m supposed to do.

LPC: I just want my money back.

Man(2): I'll tell you. Where am I going to send it?

LPC: I’ll come up and get it from ya.

Man(2): Well why don’t you come on?

LPC: Well why don’t you come on—

Man(2): Well I don’t know where in the hell you at!

LPC: Why don't you step up to the plate?

Man(2): Come on to Greenboro, North Carolina.

Man(2): I'll see you at cross, because.

LPC: I’ll meet you at midnight, tonight.

Man(2): Oh, shit.

LPC: I want you to have cash in hand.

Man(2): Well I always travel with cash.

LPC: You tell a man you're going to get him with full.

LPC: order and he gets a partial order.

LPC: You're in a heap of trouble up there.

Man(2): Oh, shit.

Man(2): I'll see you at midnight.

LPC: —Where’s my damn money?!—

LPC: Where’s my damn money?

Man(2): In my pocket.

LPC: Give it here.

LPC: Pay me what I need.

LPC: Give me what I need.

Man(2): Shit.

Man(2): Shrimp connection.

LPC: I'm going to need a refund on my shrimp.

LPC: I didn't get enough.

Man(2): Okay, listen, asshole.

Man(2): I was at Costco the other night at midnight waiting on you.

LPC: Well, hey, I was there, too.

Man(2): Oh, bullshit.

Man(2): You don't know about in the down parking lot for me.

LPC: You never showed up ‘ere!

Man(2): Bullshit.

Man(2): Okay.

Man(2): Let me make this real clear to you.

LPC: What's that?

Man(2): Go fucking sell and leave me along.

LPC: Hey why don’t you speak English?

Steve: Impact drug and alcohol treatment center.

Steve: This is Steve.

LPC: I've got a quartered individual.

LPC: to bring in there this afternoon

LPC: named Skippy.

Steve: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Steve: Who's scheduling Skippy?

LPC: He's just having a real hard time of Justin.

LPC: Can you talk to him for a moment?

Steve: Bu—bu—but first of all, who from Impact scheduled him?

LPC: Ah, that information I don’t have at my fingertips—

Steve: —Because we don’t just bring people in that are court-ordered.

LPC: Can you talk to Skippy for a moment?

LPC: Just let him know that he'll be in good hands.

Steve: No, sir.

Steve: Do you have a contact person?

Steve: What do you need?

SPEAKER_06: Tell me what you?

Steve: What’s up, Skippy?!

Skippy: This is Skippy.

Steve: That sounds like that.

Skippy: What do you need?

Skippy: Tell me what you're trying to need.

SPEAKER_06: Yeah.

SPEAKER_06: I have to try to need.

SPEAKER_06: Yeah.

LPC: What are you?

Steve: We would have to fail for this.

LPC: Can you, can you just try to talk to sense?

LPC: listen to him, please. I'm trying to hold the guy down to talk to you here.

Steve: Wow.

LPC: Here, talk to him. Just—

Skippy: What do you do you need?

Skippy: Tell me what you need.

Skippy: I don't know what you need.

Skippy: What are you doing to need?

Skippy: What do you need?

LPC: He took off.

Steve: Oh, my God.

Steve: Why couldn't you hold him down?

LPC: I tried. He’s a big fella!

Steve: Who is this?

LPC: My name’s David Chandler. I’m an attorney.

Steve: Okay.

LPC: Skippy was court-ordered to get some rehabilitation.

LPC: I thought you guys could, you know, sort of grease the wheel, sort of speak.

Steve: No. Skippy has to have a willing heart—

LPC: Well, here you again.

LPC: Skipie, talk to this Jones again.

LPC: Hold on.

SPEAKER_06: What do you try to do?

Woman(2): Even.

Woman(2): Who is that?

Steve: Hey, who am I speaking with?

LPC: David Chandler, attorney?

Steve: You’re stickin’ to the script.

LPC: That’s my profession.

Steve: So, how may I help you, David?

LPC: I wanted you to talk to Skippy.

Steve: Put Skippy on the phone.

LPC: Oh, I'll hear him.

Jenny: Thank you for calling Lindsay. This is Jenny. How can I help you?

Jenny: This is Lindsay Golf Course. Jenny is speaking. May I help you?

Woman(3): Hello? [laugher] Is there anything I can help you with today?

Louis: Well, hello. Ableton support. This is Lucas. How can I help?

LPC: This is Stewie. I’m trying to use this recording program here and I’m just having a heck of a time here; everything’s warbling and fouled up.

Louis: Okay. Um, yeah, I’m happy to help here. Could I, um, get the email address of your ableton.com account?

LPC: It's Dickie.

LPC: at primemail.biz. And I'm just having a gargantuan problem here with my recording and

LPC: playback. There's cross-talk and cancellation on pretty much everything I try to do, and it's just not

LPC: helping. I went to guitar center, and they're not able to tell me a doggone thing.

Louis: Hm. Okay. Let’s see; I don’t see—I’m not seeing an account under this Dickie—is that D-I-C-K-Y?

Louis: It's I-E. It's I-E. It's I-E. And then it's Prime-M-M-A.

Louis: L-P-R-I-M-E-M-E-A-L-B-I-Z?

LPC: Yes.

Louis: Okay, I'm not, I'm not seeing an account under that email address.

Louis: Um, is there maybe another one of the, the, the...

LPC: I'm not sure.

LPC: Were you coming from now?

LPC: I was here.

LPC: I can't...

Louis: What’s that?

LPC: This thing’s defective, sir.

Louis: Um, I just, yeah.

Louis: I'm...

LPC: I paid cash on the barrel and I’m hearing [delay]—

Louis: Okay.

Louis: Which version of live are you using here?

LPC: I'm here in...

LPC: Version 10.

LPC: I paid cash all in the barrel, and I'm here in bullfrogs and...

LPC: birds and everything, going on bubbles.

Louis: I'm wondering if maybe you've got the wrong product here.

Louis: We don't have a live 10.

LPC: Or 1.0, I guess.

Louis: Um, we also don’t—I mean Live 1.0 is a product from 1999 so I don’t think that’s it.

LPC: Do you know what phase cancellation sounds like? Like that—

Louis: Yeah, absolutely.

LPC: Like, oh, really?

LPC: It sounds like snakes are nesting inside of my recordings.

LPC: I got an acoustic guitar inside of my recordings.

LPC: I got it sounds like a sit tar going wild and up there.

LPC: Okay, and so, yeah, so, I'm hearing...

Louis: —Unfortunately, I can’t really help you out further if you can’t give me an email address—

LPC: I'm hearing different languages on tape, different languages.

LPC: I'm hearing insects and wildlife.

LPC: —This is just an acoustic-based project that I’m trying to run, here. [continual delay]

Louis: Interesting. I see.

LPC: So can't we work something through?

LPC: I went to guitar center, and they told me to call you.

LPC: I can't make that.

LPC: I haven't made it.

LPC: I can't make it work with the sounds I'm hearing.

Louis: Yeah, I see.

Louis: I see that sounds pretty tricky there.

Louis: Definitely hearing some strange things over here on my end as well.

LPC: Everything's a double-time.

LPC: I'm hearing foreign languages.

Louis: I've got to say, your voice sounds very familiar.

Louis: I feel like maybe I've spoken with you before.

LPC: Well, I've had this issue pop up from time to time.

LPC: It sounds like I got a frog inside of my microphone here.

LPC: I see.

Louis: It's always like I got a frog.

Louis: Yeah.

Louis: Well, listen, I do think that sounds like you've got a pretty serious problem there,

Louis: but without figuring out your license details here, I can't really spend any more time with you.

LPC: I've given you my email address.

LPC: I've got my receipt in hand.

Louis: I can tell you what, I can't stay on the phone here with you,

Louis: but I'm happy to send you an email about address.

Louis: And if you can just reply to that, we'll kind of work towards figuring out what's going on with your license there.

LPC: Okay.

LPC: It sounds like I got a primate running.

LPC: Wow.

LPC: in my recording space.

Louis: Yeah.

Louis: I understand, sir, definitely.

Louis: Look, I can't really spend any more time on the phone here with you,

Louis: but I appreciate you, Colin, and maybe try us back another time.

Louis: I would love to recommend that you call us back.

Louis: All right, thanks for calling and bye.