Boy: Hello?

LPC: I’m Jorge.

LPC: I gotta say that you guys got a real loud residence over there.

LPC: I need you to tone it down tonight.

LPC: And I gotta say that you think you can do that?

Boy: No.

LPC: How ‘bout you, uh, slap me with $100 so I can get a hotel room? [dp]

SPEAKER_00: Dollars so I get a hotel room.

Boy: Where do you live?

LPC: In the easement.

LPC: Why don't you guys just zip her up tonight?

Boy: Hey, hey, hey.

Boy: We're yet.

LPC: I’m uphill!

SPEAKER_00: You're up hill.

LPC: And you’re gonna be goin’ downhill real quick unless you straighten it out.

Boy: Well, I need to know where you are.

LPC: You're going to put on your thinking, Cammy.

LPC: Do the right thing here.

SPEAKER_00: Aldi Gaggin.

Boy: Yeah, where are you at?

LPC: I’m in the brush!

Boy: Down in the brush.

LPC: It sounded like you were chucking spears up in the air last night.

LPC: Oh, it's far out.

Boy: So who is this?

LPC: Jorge.

Boy: Jorge.

Boy: You got any cords up in there?

Boy: Hors for the hay.

Boy: Hello?

LPC: Just shut her down.

LPC: You're making out a lick of sense.

Boy: Who the fuck is this?

Boy: Who are you?

LPC: I'm Jorge from Bogota.

LPC: I'm nudity of the neighborhood here, but tone it down.

Boy: Dude, fuckin’ idiot!

LPC: What are you seven years old?

Boy: No.

LPC: Hey, shut up and hang up the phone and be quiet tonight.

Boy: No, fuck you.

Boy: Where's...

None: Where's...

Boy: Hello?

LPC: Hey, guy.

Man: What's up?

Man: Who's this?

LPC: Dustin.

LPC: I'm just over the easement, right by you,

LPC: and keep it down at your place.

LPC: I don't want to hear it.

Man: You got the wrong number, pal.

LPC: What do you think of that?

Man: What do you think of what?

Man: I don't know what you're talking about.

Man: You talk about the easement, whatever.

Man: I don't know what the hell are you talking about.

Man: Where do you live?

Man: I'll come over here right now, tough guy.

LPC: I wanna see a checkbook… …so I can get a hotel room.

Man: Well go stick your head in your pillow now, alright?

Eric: Critical Massive

SPEAKER_00: HL delivery?

Eric: Mm-hmm.

Eric: We’ve had our driver up there twice since Thursday for a COD parcel—

Eric: ’Kay. For Critical Massive?

LPC: Yes.

LPC: Yeah, for a COD.

Eric: Hello?

LPC: Yes.

Eric: Uh, something went very strange with this audio, there, for a second.

Eric: We have a gate.

Eric: There's not a door, so there's a number on the gate for them to call when they're here.

Eric: So if they don't call us, we're not going to come to the gate.

LPC: And that's because you have an audio problem.

LPC: I understand that, okay?

Eric: I don't have an audio problem.

Eric: I just had an audio problem.

LPC: You just said to you.

Eric: Just you, your voice was rewinding and squeaking, so I've never had that happen before on any call.

LPC: Yeah, I know. That’s why we’ve been out there three times comin’ up here, m’kay?

Eric: Okay, so you have to call us.

Eric: If the phone doesn't ring, we don't know you're there.

SPEAKER_00: What I'm doing.

Eric: Okay, so are you here now.

Eric: Are you here now?

LPC: I’m an Administrator, sir. Level 3 DHL, alright?—

Eric: Fantastic.

Eric: So what do you need me to do?

Eric: You're basically scolding me when no one has called this.

LPC: Well, fix your audio problem.

LPC: Number one, so our driver can do this job.

Eric: We don't have an audio problem.

Eric: The phone rings when people dial.

Eric: You can give us a call.

Eric: You've gotten through to me right now, correct?

LPC: Yeah, well, you're rewinding and whistling.

LPC: Can't really make out what you're saying.

Eric: Okay.

Eric: ’Kay, yep!

Eric: Critical Massive.

LPC: Hi, yeah, you guys got your buzzer fixed up ‘ere?

Eric: Yeah, our buzzer works.

LPC: ’Kay, ‘cause you told me it was defective a minute ago.

Eric: I know, I didn't say the buzzer was defective.

LPC: You sure did.

Eric: I said your call was defective.

LPC: And you said you're under critical mass right now?

LPC: Sounds like a critical mass on your intercom.

Eric: All right, so is this a crank call?

Eric: Yep, bye.

LPC: This is Mel with D.H.L. delivery.

LPC: We have been trying to come out there for three days since last Thursday.

Eric: Where? Where’ve you been trying to come?

LPC: Well I’m at the administrative office. I’m not a driver.

Eric: Where? Wait, wait. Who are you trying? Who are you trying to deliver to what individual?

LPC: Eric?

Eric: Yes.

LPC: And now why has the driver had to go?

LPC: come out three times? I'm not sure.

Eric: Eric? Probably because he doesn't have the code

Eric: to the door.

LPC: Oh, I said. I'm looking at this pouch here.

LPC: What I'm seeing, the pictures on this thing.

LPC: That's a little inappropriate.

Boy: This poucher. This is not sure.

Eric: Why—why is there two people talking on the phone?

LPC: I’ll make a one-time exception.

SPEAKER_00: Three times. I'm not sure.

LPC: Just tell me when we can come back out

LPC: for COD on this pouch.

Eric: COD? What is it? Who is it from?

SPEAKER_00: Just tell me when.

LPC: Satan City, CEDY, COD on this.

LPC: I don't know. Real inappropriate drawings on here.

Eric: I don't really know what you're talking about, man.

Eric: You've got to tell me to look from.

SPEAKER_00: Real inappropriate drawings on here.

Eric: See ya later!

Eric: Hello?

LPC: Yep. DHL Delivery calling. I’m calling for Eric, please—

SPEAKER_00: Who are you delivering?

LPC: There’s drawings all over the place.

Eric: What do you mean?

Eric: Drawings?

SPEAKER_00: Unfreaking believable, the drawings I'm seeing on this package.

LPC: The drawings I'm seeing on this package here.

LPC: The drawings I'm skeleton.

LPC: And just, anyway, we've been out there twice.

LPC: There's a three-time search yard.

Eric: I'm not paying anything, dude.

Eric: You're not telling me what it is.

LPC: Oh, I can tell you exactly what it is.

LPC: There's skeletons and skulls and a lot of inappropriate stuff on you.

SPEAKER_00: I don't know.

Eric: I don't know.

Eric: So there's the faggotts now.

Eric: Fuck you.