Album: Best Before '24

Year: 2024

Track: Body Art Flipout

• Tattoo Guy: Tattoo.
  
• LPC: Hi, I'm Barry Feeley.
  
• LPC: How's yourself?
  
• Tattoo Guy: I'm good.
  
• LPC: All right.
  
• LPC: I was interested in doing a new tattoo project.
  
• LPC: That was the reason for my call.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Okay.
  
• Tattoo Guy: So what do you have in mind?
  
• LPC: I am going to be morphing pretty soon, and that's what I'm looking to capture with your tattooing.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Okay.
  
• Tattoo Guy: So you have to give me a little bit more information, man, because I'm trying to figure out what it is that you may or may not, you know, be seeing in your mind.
  
• Tattoo Guy: that would be a good representation of that.
  
• LPC: Oh, okay.
  
• LPC: Sure.
  
• LPC: You know, morphing, progression, development, my growth.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Right.
  
• Tattoo Guy: I understood that.
  
• Tattoo Guy: But I mean, usually when people give me a call, they kind of have an idea of what represents that to them.
  
• LPC: You know, my ebb, the ripple.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Okay.
  
• LPC: You know, the whole presentation.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Okay.
  
• LPC: Whether that takes the form of a grid or a line or a cellular matrix on my membrane.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Okay.
  
• Tattoo Guy: What I would need is some kind of visual representation of what you're thinking.
  
• LPC: Sure.
  
• LPC: I mean, it'll take a steady hand with trapeze precision.
  
• LPC: You know what I'm saying?
  
• LPC: Hey, do y'all use squid ink up there?
  
• Tattoo Guy: No.
  
• LPC: I mean it is luminous, so I wanted to try it out.
  
• Tattoo Guy: The only thing I have that even vaguely fits that description is black light reactive ink.
  
• Tattoo Guy: But that's only under a black light source.
  
• LPC: You can't do that kind of ink when you're taking a sulfonylurea.
  
• LPC: Never.
  
• Tattoo Guy: I have no idea what a sulfonylurea is.
  
• LPC: Hey, do you guys ever use invisible ink up 'ere?
  
• Tattoo Guy: No such thing.
  
• LPC: Um, hey, could you dye my skin at all?
  
• LPC: Maybe with a resin or shellac?
  
• Tattoo Guy: No.
  
• Tattoo Guy: You know what, man?
  
• Tattoo Guy: I'm gonna end this here.
  
• LPC: Maybe in maroon?
  
• Tattoo Guy: Tattoo?
  
• LPC: Yeah, I was interested in that invisible ink you all got up 'ere.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Dude, I've got your phone number, your address, and everything else.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Stop calling my business or bad things are gonna happen.
  
• Tattoo Woman: tattoo.
  
• LPC: Hi, my name is Jim.
  
• LPC: Hi.
  
• LPC: Yeah, my dad got some tattooing done there.
  
• LPC: And I was interested in coming.
  
• LPC: and now myself.
  
• Tattoo Woman: Okay, so what is it that you're thinking about getting?
  
• LPC: I'm looking at getting a tattoo of my ribs, sort of on my ribs area.
  
• LPC: I have an x-ray, but they're not my ribs, but they look good.
  
• LPC: And I was hoping to put that on my ribs.
  
• LPC: I don't know whose ribs they are, but it's an x-ray that I have that looks real, real good.
  
• LPC: So that's one that I wanted to do.
  
• Tattoo Woman: Okay.
  
• LPC: So do you think that would pose a problem?
  
• Tattoo Woman: I am honestly not really sure how that would work out.
  
• Tattoo Woman: I'm not an artist myself.
  
• Tattoo Woman: I'm the piercer.
  
• Tattoo Woman: So what I would recommend is setting you up with a consultation with the artist and you can come in and talk about your idea and he can let you know if that's going to work, how that's going to work, what can be done to make it work, things along those lines.
  
• Tattoo Woman: I don't really feel comfortable giving you any kind of answers myself.
  
• Tattoo Woman: But I would be absolutely happy to get you on the schedule for a consultation if that's the way you would want to go about it.
  
• LPC: Yeah, I'm looking at getting two total tattoos.
  
• LPC: That one and then the other one.
  
• LPC: I was wondering if maybe to get hit or kicked like in the torso area and then tattoo the bruise area.
  
• LPC: Do you guys ever do anything like that?
  
• Tattoo Woman: So yeah, what we actually had, we've had a couple of things similar.
  
• Tattoo Woman: Definitely not along those lines.
  
• Tattoo Woman: But two examples of things that Sean has done in the past is one guy wanted what looked like realistic bullet wounds on his chest.
  
• Tattoo Woman: I mean, it looks about as realistic as you can get without the real thing.
  
• Tattoo Woman: The hole and then the spatter around it and the skin tears and the bleeding and things like that.
  
• Tattoo Woman: And then another one that he did was a guy wanted it to look like his girlfriend's name was carved into his arm, like with a razor blade kind of thing.
  
• Tattoo Woman: So he did the sharp lines and then did like the redness around and the swelling and things like that.
  
• Tattoo Woman: So he could show you what he's done with that.
  
• Tattoo Woman: And I don't think you need to necessarily go through the process of getting bruised unless you really want it to be an exact one yourself.
  
• Tattoo Woman: But to get one that looks how you want it to look, I think that's going to be some pretty serious trauma, and I'm not sure you want to go through that.
  
• LPC: I practiced with a galvanized beef mallet, is what it is, and it does make a good bruise.
  
• LPC: that is sort of a grid at the same time, so that looks pretty cool.
  
• LPC: Maybe I could just use that on myself and not have to involve you in the kicking or hitting process.
  
• LPC: Or another option, what's that now, huh?
  
• Tattoo Woman: What we would absolutely have to do with that though, is you would have to take a picture and everything would have to be all healed up because they will not tattoo you with that kind of trauma.
  
• Tattoo Woman: That is asking for a disaster with the healing process.
  
• LPC: Okay, that sounds fair.
  
• LPC: I had one other option for I could just float by you is do you have like a patio or a smoking lounge or anything?
  
• Tattoo Woman: Not really.
  
• Tattoo Woman: I mean, we do have a bench outside.
  
• LPC: Because I was thinking we could just go out there and maybe squirt a little like lighter fluid onto my torso and ignite that just to like cauterize a burn mark that we could then tattoo one or the other.
  
• LPC: Be more realistic, I thought, you know?
  
• Tattoo Woman: Yeah.
  
• Tattoo Woman: Okay.
  
• Tattoo Woman: This is a bullshit call.
  
• Tattoo Woman: So don't call back.
  
• LPC: What are you talking about?
  
• LPC: You guys don't want to work together or what?
  
• Tattoo Woman: No, I don't.
  
• Tattoo Woman: Don't call back.
  
• LPC: Well, can I talk to a tattoo artist, please?
  
• LPC: That's what I need.
  
• LPC: Not you.
  
• LPC: Nope.
  
• Tattoo Woman: No, I own the place.
  
• Tattoo Woman: Don't call back.
  
• LPC: No, you don't.
  
• Tattoo Woman: Tattoo?
  
• Wyatt: Hey, Ms.
  
• Wyatt: Carey?
  
• Tattoo Woman: Yeah.
  
• Wyatt: Hey, this is Wyatt with the city police.
  
• Tattoo Woman: Uh-huh.
  
• Wyatt: Hey, what's going on?
  
• Tattoo Woman: I'm just at work.
  
• Wyatt: I just spoke with a male subject.
  
• Wyatt: He said that you possibly needed us.
  
• Wyatt: I don't know.
  
• Tattoo Woman: I have no idea what that might be about.
  
• Wyatt: OK, well, all right, then we can just cancel whatever call this may have been.
  
• Sour Joe: Hello?
  
• Tattoo Woman: OK.
  
• Sour Joe: Hello?
  
• Wyatt: All right.
  
• Wyatt: Yes, sir.
  
• Sour Joe: Who is this?
  
• Wyatt: Yes, sir.
  
• Wyatt: This is the city police, sir.
  
• Sour Joe: Why are you calling me?
  
• Wyatt: I didn't call you, sir.
  
• Wyatt: All right.
  
• Wyatt: Just have a nice day.
  
• Wyatt: I don't know what's going on.
  
• Sour Joe: I think you're a criminal.
  
• Sour Joe: Is that what you're calling me?
  
• Sour Joe: You're a motherfucking criminal, right?
  
• Wyatt: No, I am the officer, sir.
  
• Wyatt: This is the city police.
  
• Sour Joe: You're an officer?
  
• Sour Joe: I don't believe it.
  
• Sour Joe: What do I have to do with the police?
  
• Wyatt: What's going on, sir?
  
• Wyatt: You don't need police at all?
  
• Sour Joe: No, I don't.
  
• Wyatt: All right.
  
• Wyatt: Well, have a nice day, sir.
  
• Wyatt: I'm about to hang up.
  
• Sour Joe: Yeah.
  
• Sour Joe: You're a piece of shit, I think.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Listen here, motherfucker.
  
• Tattoo Guy: Why don't you come talk to me?
  
• LPC: Oh, I'll come down there tonight.
  
• Tattoo Guy: You come down here right the fuck now, and I will lay you out on that street.
  
• Tattoo Guy: You do not call my business.
  
• Tattoo Guy: You do not call my wife.
  
• Tattoo Guy: You do not fucking start this kind of shit.
  
• Tattoo Guy: We don't even know who the fuck you are, but I'll tell you what.
  
• Tattoo Guy: I am a heavily armed individual, and I will fuck you up.
  
• LPC: I want to get my buttock pierced.
  
• LPC: Do not call my business again.
  
• LPC: You got me?
  
• LPC: That'd be great.